Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High

"Every chapter of the book teaches you new things. You can pick up the book and read a few pages and feel slightly enlightened.

The book does an excellent job at teaching one how to look at conversations as a vehicle for getting things settles and solved, without hurting anyone, or not getting the full message across. Highly recommended!"
~ Written on 2008-02-18

"This book was a most enjoyable read but left me with a touch of ambivalence. As a handbook for communicating more effectively, it's helpful but perhaps a bit simplistic.

"Crucial conversations" are defined as those in which opinions vary, the stakes are high, and emotions run strong. The book targets situations in business and personal life, and is extremely readable with its many illustrative dialogues from both sectors. An extensive vocabulary is introduced and I've had some of the terms floating like a ghostly subtext under my own conversations: Sucker's Choice; Safety; Salute and Stay Mute; Silence or Violence; Freeze Your Lover; Pool of Shared Meaning. It's all useful even if reductionist.

The techniques offered for effective negotiation are generally quite obvious, yet they bear repeating and codifying. They are, however, techniques, and as such they probably won't give earth-shaking results without an understanding of what's making people tick. Conversation and negotiation are so much more than technique.

CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS is an ideal offering for the best-seller market and would be a great springboard for leadership development workshops.

My two picks for the best advice in this book:

(1) Stay focused on what you really want.
(2) If you give this book to a partner or business associate, don't take a yellow highlighter to the parts you think they need before you give it; better to work on your own side of the crucial conversations.

Linda Bulger, 2008"
~ Written on 2008-01-13

"The best part of it is that it really helps, it doesn't read like your classic self-help book either. The analysis comes off as scientific and intelligent, not your average "I think it's like this" book. The downside is that it also gets a bit boring and lengthy at points - once you've gotten the point it often continues five more pages. Some points in the book I found hard to apply, but around 80% of the advice is directly applicable. It is full of examples - but they are served exactly the same way everytime : short and heavy handed. I'd rather see some more real-life examples with all the subleties we use in our language."
~ Written on 2007-12-31

"Very good book for succesful managers, but also for amateurs interested in improving their communication skills. Of course, for some professionals that one may be "just another one"."
~ Written on 2007-12-23

"I bought both this title and "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most". Unfortunately I read the other title first so many of the points covered here were already covered in the other book.

Personally I find the other book slightly better. Both are aimed at general readers and steer clear of too much academic tilt. I have the impression that the other book is aiming at a slightly more intelligent audience, with more focus on process, with a couple of examples. This book has many more case studies and examples to illustrate the points being made. If you prefer examples go for this one. If you are more inclined towards processes and theory go for the other one.

Either way, both books are a good read (2-3 evenings of easy reading) and remind us of the mantra that to change the world we must first learn to start with ourselves. I think the main message from the books is that there is not such thing as an absolute truth - it all boils down to perception.

Enjoy. I did.
4 stars because I like the other book better."
~ Written on 2007-07-04