Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: When Love Hurts and You Don't Know Why

"... your partner always blames you for everything that goes wrong in your relationship - including his infidelities; he plays Gaslight-type mind games; he tries to isolate you from your friends and family; you have to "rehearse" everything you need to say to him carefully to try to avoid "setting him off"; you excuse the inexcusable; he is entitled to be upset by what you say or do, but you have no such reciprocal rights; you want to raise an issue of his bad behaviour and end up having to apologise to him; and most telling of all, if everyone who knows him superficially tells you how charming he is and how lucky you are, and you can't understand why you are so miserable!
Get past the American case-history formula and this book will save your sanity and help you come out on the other side with a modicum of self-esteem."
~ Written on 2002-02-26

"Abusive relationships have now reached epidemic status in our society!

I have learned some valuable, if not life-saving, lesssons from this book. I had a friend who was beaten by her now ex-husband and couldn't understand why she would tolerate such behaviour. It is a very complex issue, and when I read this book (along with many others - so I have a very rounded experience of such literature - and am not a man-hater), I began to realise that my parents were toxic and that my father's outlook on and approach to life and the legacy he left me, has damaged my self-esteem and consequent expectations of relationships.

I have questioned my values over and over again trying to understand why I was unhappy in my marriage, and now I finally understand why! The pattern of abuse was repeating itself through me! I am not to blame for whatever my husband decides to blame me for because he can't deal with - and so projects onto me - his emotional problems!

Fortunately, I have learned to cope, through changing my expectations of relationships and life in general. There is hope!! I am still with my husband. I am living consciously now and he is slightly 'inconvenienced' that I am happier now that I value myself more. However, respecting yourself is the only way to lead a happy, fulfilling life!!

I am glad I didn't leave my husband as I now know what was wrong with our relationship and how to deal with it, rather than going on to another abusive relationship whereby I repeat the same mistakes over and over again in a futile attempt to try to correct the past.

This subject does take a lot of research and understanding, and councelling is good.

Fortunately there is increasing awareness of this epidemic in society, and this book, along with "Toxic Parents", helps."
~ Written on 2001-11-28

"Abusive relationships have now reached epidemic status in our society!

I have learned some valuable, if not life-saving, lesssons from this book. I had a friend who was beaten by her now ex-husband and couldn't understand why she would tolerate such behaviour. It is a very complex issue, and when I read this book (along with many others - so I have a very rounded experience of such literature - and am not a man-hater), I began to realise that my parents were toxic and that my father's outlook on and approach to life and the legacy he left me, has damaged my self-esteem and consequent expectations of relationships.

I have questioned my values over and over again trying to understand why I was unhappy in my marriage, and now I finally understand why! The pattern of abuse was repeating itself through me! I am not to blame for whatever my husband decides to blame me for because he can't deal with - and so projects onto me - his emotional problems!

Fortunately, I have learned to cope, through changing my expectations of relationships and life in general. There is hope!! I am still with my husband. I am living consciously now and he is slightly 'inconvenienced' that I am happier now that I value myself more. However, respecting yourself is the only way to lead a happy, fulfilling life!!

I am glad I didn't leave my husband as I now know what was wrong with our relationship and how to deal with it, rather than going on to another abusive relationship whereby I repeat the same mistakes over and over again in a futile attempt to try to correct the past.

This subject does take a lot of research and understanding, and councelling is good.

Fortunately there is increasing awareness of this epidemic in society, and this book, along with "Toxic Parents", helps."
~ Written on 2001-11-28

"A good book for women in bad relationships past or current, but the book seems to portray all men in the same way and if it isn't the male partner in a relationship doing the damage it was the father. For those in situations described in the book it will help greatly.

For women who are not well read or aware of other influences this book will add to the army of men haters."
~ Written on 2001-01-21

"IIronically I bought this book around 8 months ago for a friend whom I saw was in an abusive relationship. I read it before I gave it to her and noticed that the man I was involved with seemed to show a few of the characteristics of the woman-hating man. Only a few.

However this month after our relationship broke up up I re-read the book and am appalled to see that he fits the description in so many ways of a man who hates women . I also made many of the same mistakes that the women in this book made, trying to be a rescuer for him, to give him a solid foundation of love and friendship which would help him to overcome the disruptive childhood he had.

I was so surprised the first time that he shouted at me and called me stupid and a control freak that I didn't point out to him that this behaviour was unacceptable and I thereby opened the door for a growth of more and more unreasonable and controlling behaviour on his part.

We have now split up and I feel I have had a lucky escape.

This book was extremely good at pointing out the warning signs which I should have noticed and will certainly be on the lookout for in the future."
~ Written on 2000-05-01