Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step by Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay in or Get Out of Your Relationship

"Should I stay or should I leave is a difficult question to answer, especially if you've been married for a long time, over 20 years in my case. I answered the questions in the book with as much honesty as I could, as someone who felt they existed in marriage hell is able to that is. The benefit of the book for me was that it helped me clarify the things in my own mind that were wrong and what the real issues were. However this is where I part company with the author, the book advocates that if there is a negative response for any question then its better to leave - I had several genuine negative responses. No question according to the book I should leave, which as it turned out confirmed that the action I had taken one week previously was correct. Leaving my wife, as far as I was concerned, was an action that needed much courage and was a necessary move in order for me to reclaim and build a decent life again. However what I did not anticipate was that my wife who had previously failed to recognise my unhappiness and chose to avoid any discussion completely repented her behaviour. She told me that my leaving was a shock and she accepted that she was to blame and desperately wanted to put things right, we suddenly started talking. At this point I am optimistic that reconciliation is possible and will work as best we can to make it possible. And this is my criticism of the book, no where does the book offer the possibility of change and appears not to offer any other solution apart from stay or leave. In which case this is a book that could finish a viable marriage - so be careful!"
~ Written on 1999-08-12

"This book takes a diagnostic approach to helping me make the most difficult decision of my life. I was trying to decide if divorce was the right choice and it really helped where friends and family could not. It was a plain spoken book that spoke directly to me and really helped. I recommend the book for anyone contiplating this choice."
~ Written on 1999-03-24

"If I followed the advice in this book, I'd be divorced, homosexual, athiest, and generally no one I'd want to be around. (I'm almost divorced anyway, because my wife read the book, too!) Still, it points out some valid statements that, while I don't believe they're necessarily good enough reasons to leave a relationship without trying (especially when young children are involved) they do bring up the darker side of human nature, like the inability to forgive. The Bible is a much better resource!"
~ Written on 1998-11-03

"Although I am in the throes of considering a breakup, this book is interesting for anyone who is trying to figure out what they want, what others may want, in an intimate relationship. Not something you can hand to a teenager in love, but good for any one who wonders what they ought to be looking for to be happy. The verbosity -- well, I skimmed in places, but I think the extra words were good padding for some very painful realizations. I liked the balance of gender pronouns and the gentleness with which the author approached male and female tendencies and stereotypes. My male friend in a different but equally horrible place found the book as helpful as I did. I recommend this to therapists hoping to help people put their needs into words -- although not dumb, the writing is pretty simple and accessible, not rhetorical or jargonated."
~ Written on 1998-04-11

"This text provides a clear question and answer format allowing the reader to "score" their current relationship.

Unlike other reviewers, I did not find it 'too wordy'. I believe understanding our personal relationships deserve more than a soundbite editorial. The Author manages to be pragmatic while taking into account the complexity of the inner struggles the being dealt with by the reader. I have recommended it to many friends in need. Staying & leaving equally distributed among those who used the book, but all felt more capable of understanding & explaining the reasons for their decisions."
~ Written on 1998-02-17