Keeping the Love You Find: A Single Persons Guide to Achieving Lasting Love

"The tenet of this book, as is that of the other Hendrix books, is that we carry 'wounds' from childhood into our adult relationships. In order to have lasting, fulfilling, 'whole' adult relationships, we must understand our own wounds and how they affect the type of person we have become and the type of person we are attracted to. Unfortunately, the person we are attracted to is often exactly the type of person who cannot help heal those wounds of childhood: The premise of the book is that we are looking exactly for the type of person who has the NEGATIVE qualities that our care-takers had, so that we can try to 'resolve' the issues we had with those negative qualities. The only solution is that each of the partners in a relationship must learn to 'grow', in order to understand themselves and to help offer their partners the healing 'wholeness' they are seeking. A single person has the advantage in that s/he can do some of this introspective work (with assistance from Hendrix's usually insightful, helpful exercises) before meeting the (next) potential partner. While I do not fully agree with the theoretical basis for Hendrix's position (I think that who we are attracted to is a mix of the 'familiar' and the 'novel'--this only makes it LOOK as if we are searching for someone with the qualities of our caretakers), his exercises are right on the mark. Every single person who is hoping to develop a new, this time lasting, relationship should consider going through the hard work that this book entails; it promises in the long run a healthier, happier loving relationship in the future."
~ Written on 2002-03-17