Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

"Very interesting for someone new to the concept of emotional intelligence, especially parents or teachers. Almost all examples and studies are drawn from children (kindergarten or primary school age, mostly), and how their EQ can be observed and stimulated. However, the book of limited use to adults who want to understand the strengths and limitations of their own emotional intelligence, or how to improve it.
I gather when this book first came out it was a groundbreaking work. Much research and writing has been done since then, so there are probably better choices for someone who wants to learn about emotional intelligence in adults."
~ Written on 2007-10-20

"I was first introduced to this book at a work seminar. After several hours of team work activities, communication coaching and munching on the finger food- the seminar leader (hired by my employer) gave all the staff an insight into how the mind works by doing diagrams and giving examples using data she had garnered from the book 'Emotional Intelligence'. I was struck by how many of the concepts and ideas seem to by synonymous with L.Ron Hubbards 'Dianetics- The Modern Science of Mental Health', but presented in a more loose fashion and with a less long term technique for solving the problems to the primitive area of mans behaviour.

Whilst I do agree that some of the authors statements are true- I would recommend reading the real thing first."
~ Written on 2006-12-31

"Daniel Goleman is, of course, the man who popularized emotional intelligence. His book is an excellent blend of science, anecdotal and real-life examples as well as some suggestions for improvement. However, this book is written as an introduction of the topic of emotional intelligence, it is NOT a how-to and it is not a solution to all our life's problems.

The book focuses on building emotional intelligence in children, especially school age. This makes it an ideal read for parents and educators who deal with children between the ages of 3 and 10. In fact, I would say it is VITAL reading for parents since it will probably save the parents, and the children of course, years of agony and heartache.

The Book is very well written but don't expect it to solve all your emotional intelligence problems. If you want a more practical and useful guide, especially for developing emotional intelligence in the workplace, read Goleman's 'Working with Emotional Intelligence.'"
~ Written on 2005-12-20

"Ever since I read Martin Gardiner's book on multiple intelligences, I have been intrigued by the study of how we learn and the different types of intelligence. No one disputes that mathematical/analytical brain-power is a very different type of intelligence from the kind of bodily intelligence that makes someone a graceful gymnast or a super athlete; while there is often some cross-over between the kinds of intelligence that make for good mathematicians and good musicians, the kinds of intelligence that are brought to bear on different parts of our lives get developed in different ways.

One of the more controversial and overlooked types of intelligence is Emotional Intelligence. I do not agree with the idea that one's EQ is in some way opposite from the IQ, the standard intelligence quotient idea (which in and of itself is calculated and reliant on different criteria depending upon the test). I don't believe that Goleman ever makes such a dramatic claim as to show a precise inverse relationship between the EQ and IQ. He does show that there are different kinds of difficulties that can arise, and that a high IQ does not necessarily (or even often) translate into a high EQ.

After a brief introduction exploring the general issues of intelligence and the power of emotions, Goleman
looks at new discoveries in brain anatomy and architecture, particularly as it pertains to what happens when emotions 'take over'. The second, and longest, section of the book looks at the nature of Emotional Intelligence. This is being able to understand oneself as well as others, being able to control emotions (or not), and drawing on Aristotle's phrase from the Nicomachean Ethics, being able to have the right degree of emotion at the right time for the right reason for the right duration. Goleman's third section incorporates the general ideas of Emotional Intelligence into the broader context of living, stating that one's emotional intelligence is in fact a more critical factor than pure computational intelligence at being 'successful' in many important parts of life - from personal relationships to professional relationships, self-satisfaction and self-growth, emotions often hold sway over traditional 'intelligence'. The fourth section examines developmental issues, leading to the final section exploring what happens when such development goes wrong.

Goleman's observation that children seem to be increasingly depressed, despondent, violent and unruly than in the past may or may not be accurate - unfortunately, such comparisons with the past often rely on shaky anecdotal evidence or studies whose parameters are different, and thus whose conclusions cannot be accurately compared. However, it certainly seems that these are true observations. Goleman warns of a coming crisis as unprepared children face an adulthood full of emotional stress and crises for which they have not developed coping skills. Goleman calls for more emphasis on emotional intelligence issues - anger management, conflict resolution, sense of self, etc. for school children to reduce violence and potential for crime.

Overall, this book presents interesting ideas. The idea of Emotional Intelligence is fairly new, and will no doubt be adapted and revised in the coming years. Goleman's task here may be less of a comprehensive overview rather than an introductory shout to the community that needs to address the issue."
~ Written on 2004-02-09

"There is a lot to admire here and I enjoyed returning to a genre (popular psychology) that I left many years ago. If my recollection is correct, Goleman’s book is a step beyond such “classics” as I’m Okay, You’re Okay..., etc., particularly in terms of scholarship. I liked the way he took the medical profession to task for its lack of empathy and its failure to provide emotional support for patients. He does not however address the cause, which is the desire of the AMA and its members to maintain the exclusivity and high economic status of the profession. I loved the affection Goleman showed for the children learning to be social.

However I don’t think the book is about emotional so much as social intelligence, and perhaps that is entirely to the good since social intelligence is a fundamental human need, and certainly for most people it is easier to learn social skills than it is to discard negative emotions and achieve positive ones. Most of the book is about how to behave effectively in society, how to make adjustments in marriage, on the job, with peers, at school, etc. Some space is given to the experiences in childhood that mold us emotionally (or so it is believed).

This is all fine, but I don’t think Goleman makes much of a case for changing emotions as he does for changing behavior. Of course, I’m all for that: if you don’t feel empathy, at least fake it! On page 107 for example he talks about the “utter lack of empathy for their victims” by “child molesters and other such offenders.” He describes “one of the most promising treatment programs” in which “the offenders read heart-wrenching accounts of crimes like their own, told from the victim’s perspective.” The psychologist who developed the program claims that the recidivism rate for those who complete the program is half that of those who did not receive the treatment. Even if true, it doesn’t follow that these guys learned any empathy. Most likely they learned more clever behavior, and of course the people who entered and stayed with the program are preselected to not return for any number of reasons, mainly because they’re smarter.

I have a similar objection to the idea (for example) that depression leads to increased death and disease. Certainly the life expectancy of depressed people is less than that of optimistic people, but it is not clear whether depression is a cause or a symptom. And the well known connection between social isolation and morbidity reported by Goleman doesn’t necessarily mean that social isolation kills, but could mean that people who want to die, first isolate themselves from society, which is the way in some cultures—or it could mean something else entirely.

I also object to the general idea that emotions, instruments of the evolutionary mechanism, can or should be much influenced by society except in self-defense. The purpose of many emotions is to drive the individual in a direction consistent with the needs of the species mechanism regardless of what society or the individual wants. The needs, concerns and prejudices of any given society are relatively ephemeral notions compared to the evolutionary imperative, and in many cases it’s a good thing we have instincts that override what society wants.

Goleman’s book is understandably written from the point of view of the society and as such puts social concerns first; however I am at that place in my life where I find the concerns of the individual to be more important. The (rather limited) psychological tradition that Goleman is an effective spokesman for, is not to me as important or as valuable or even as “true” as the psychological ideas found in the great religions of the world.

One last very important quibble: nowhere in the book is the most deleterious emotion mentioned or identified as such. That emotion is desire. Goleman, unaccountably, does not even identify sexual desire! He lists love in Appendix A but it is apparent that sexual desire is not part of that classification (p. 289). He allows that there are “hundreds of emotions.” The fact that he does not recognize desire would be amazing except we know that his readers would not like to hear about any problems with desire, and this book is pristinely PC with a clear eye to the marketplace. Desire is what keeps the economic machine of the society that he represents going! As the economists say, goods are limited, but human desires are infinite. Additionally the secret to avoiding the inevitable pain caused by desire is not any attempt to fulfill those desires, but to lose the desires. That formula would not sit well with his readers nor with his publishers.

Goleman is accomplished and clever. He went to the best schools and he has made quite a success of his education. He is politically astute, and he may be an expert on emotion, but he should know that the splashy idea of emotional intelligence is as vague, subjective and limiting as that of IQ, perhaps more so."
~ Written on 2003-12-31