They F*** You Up: How to Survive Family Life

"Oliver James really is in need of a good editor, this book bangs on and on about the fact that nurture is more important than nature. He's too extreme in his view for my taste, I still think it's a bit of both.

However since nurture is the only thing we have any control over, perhaps its reasonable to concentrate on it.

He could really have summarised his argument in one chapter and then gone on to describe how to diagnose and basically fix yourself. However he rambles, boy does he ramble on! The book becomes a chore after a while, I enjoyed Affleunza but not this book.

I would really recommend 'Families and how to Survive them' over this, it explains in clear terms what our developmental stages are and what can go wrong and what's the cure. Plus it's got illustrations(!)"
~ Written on 2008-05-28

"This man is making serious statements while living the life of a 'champagne socialist' as one reviewer has noted. Boring.
What experience has he really got? "
~ Written on 2008-01-08

"I have never read a book which gave a fairer account of both the nature-nurtuer debate (unlike Stinker Pinker) and also changed how I see myself and my children.
Now I understand how my place in the family drama affected me but also, the importance of what went on when I was a baby.
Love the use of famous people he has interviewed (Stephen Fry etc) but also the analysis of such figures as Bush and Woody Allen.
Brilliant, entertaining, unputdownable."
~ Written on 2007-09-11

"Easy to read, pitched perfectly and humorous. James' views are stimulating and thought provoking. Like all self help type books take it with a pinch of salt and you won't be disappointed. I would argue that this book, even if you disagree with James' opinions, can only have a positive effect and for some it might just be the book that changes their lives."
~ Written on 2007-08-10

"In this dull tome Mr James repeats his customary message. The family is bad for us; money is bad for us, success is bad for us; life in general is bad for us. The only thing that is good for us, according to Mr James, is psychotherapy, or more specifically psychoanalysis.
No thanks, I'd rather keep my family, my money and success (little or vast as they may be) and tell the whole of the psychotherapy industry to go and get a proper job.
I find the perceived wisdom and fake expertise of 'experts' such as Mr James, patronising and hypocritical.


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~ Written on 2007-08-02