Aspergers in Love

"I found this book informative up to a point but I find the author negative in so many ways. I get a sense that she doesnt actually like people who have aspergers and her theoretical approach as a counsellor is...come for therapy to come to terms with how rubbish you are..I may have missed something along the way but I speak not only as a counsellor myself, but also as someone who is in a relationship with an AS man."
~ Written on 2007-09-19

"If you are in a Relationship, and either have Aspergers, or are with someone with Aspergers, then I think this book gives some great assistance for either party to understand the other, to understand their relationship, and to come to terms with any communication difficulties they might have.

Very easy to read, and very easy to dip into, with some useful checklists (just what Aspergers people appreciate, no doubt)."
~ Written on 2004-05-17

"As this book points out early on, Aspergers Syndrome (AS) is a developmental disorder related to autism, and affects social interaction, communication and imagination. Most people who are even aware that AS exists probably assume that Aspergers sufferers (and we do suffer, believe me) simply "don't do relationships". Clearly this isn't the case, but the message of this book might seem to be that they probably shouldn't, given the major problems that the syndrome causes to both partners in the relationship.

It is worth pointing out that this is not a manual designed to help folk with AS to pick their way through the minefield of dating. Rather, it is primarily aimed at married couples where one partner has AS, usually not diagnosed until after the couple have married.

Ms. Aston's account is authoritative and concise, easy to read and well laid out, with no confusing psychological jargon. No areas of the subject are taboo. Emotional and sexual matters and child rearing are all discussed. There are even references to the comparatively unusual cases where the AS sufferer is female.

Ms. Aston never sugar-coats the pill, and frequently the message is that although problems can be understood and addressed, many can never be fully eliminated. Recognition of, and acceptance of the condition by both partners is stressed as being the key to a successful relationship.

Although clearly aimed at couples, there are unique insights here for anyone interested in Aspergers Syndrome."
~ Written on 2003-10-27

"Asperger’s in Love, Couple Relationships and Family Affairs, draws on questionnaires, interviews and counselling with around 35 couples. The material is not so much organised as themed into 20 odd chapters with titles like Trust, Awareness, The Sexual Side of Asperger Syndrome, Routines, Rules and Boundaries, Understanding. There’s an FAQs section – questions asked during counselling - and her long, common sense, detailed and direct responses. The book is filled with Awareness (one of her chapter headings) of AS and how it affects couple and family relationships, and illustrated with numerous anecdotes, some so familiar and true I laughed till I cried.
I don’t think people who don’t have a close relationship with someone with AS will want to read this book, but for the rest of us there’s revelation and validation on every page. And for professionals and academics working in the field of Asperger’s Syndrome there is a goldmine of observation and wisdom.
The book is more of a meditation than a list of prescriptives. She does however conclude that relationships involving people with AS stand a better chance if everyone involved accepts and understands the condition and works with it."
~ Written on 2003-06-30

"Maxine Aston is currently the only professional counsellor in the UK specialising in AS/NT relationships. Asperger’s in Love draws on questionnaires, interviews and what must be thousands of hours of counselling sessions with around 35 couples. The material is not so much organised as themed into 20 odd chapters with titles like Trust, Awareness, The Sexual Side of Asperger Syndrome, Routines, Rules and Boundaries, Understanding. There’s an FAQs section – questions asked during counselling - and her long, common sense, detailed and direct responses. The book is filled with Awareness (one of her chapter headings) of AS and how it affects couple and family relationships, and illustrated with numerous anecdotes.

For people with Aspergers in the family there’s revelation and validation on every page, and for professionals and academics working in the field there is a goldmine of observation and wisdom.

I don't think Maxine Aston would claim this work as scientific research. It's more like action research, and the book is more of a meditation than a list of prescriptives. She does however reach a conclusion, which is that relationships involving people with AS stand a better chance if everyone involved accepts, understands and works with the condition. And of what is that not true?"
~ Written on 2003-05-29