The Compassionate Mind

"a large book which i havent got through yet, simple message which is hard for some people to accept, i know i do! --- take care of yourself. a very learned author great book"
~ Written on 2010-08-15

"These ideas have been a revelation for my head! Learning about how our minds have evolved and how this can lead to the emotional difficulties that I was, and we all struggle with at some point, has been immensely helpful. Being kind and compassionate to myself when things get difficult is a concept that I can honestly say has made a massive difference to managing the ups and downs of life. And whilst I had heard of such ideas before, the argumentative self-critic in me was never really willing to give it a go until I understood why compassion can have such dramatic effects, and why we can find it difficult. This book is an easy to read and entertaining presentation of ideas that have really helped me understand more about our brains and behaviours. Thanks Paul, life isn't easier but I'm now much better equipped to manage its trials."
~ Written on 2010-07-13

"The Compassionate Mind is essentially an amalgam of different psychological strands brought together with the central tenet of discovering more compassion for the way you lead your life, often over-looked and confused in the western hemisphere with building self-esteem. At the same time - as the title might suggest - the book leaves you with the feeling that it is much greater than the sum of its parts, especially in its delving into key aspects of Buddhism.

A crucial outlining of concepts at the start, are the three evolutionary emotional regulation systems, that form the way our brains and subconscious minds work via archetypes or social mentalities. They are influenced by culture/nurture (i.e. our phenotype) and nature (i.e. our genotype) making each person's wiring-up a unique conscious experience. The three areas are the self-threat/protection system, the incentive/resource system and the soothing/contentment system. Gaining insights into the negative traits of these three emotional areas of the brain is a very useful exercise, especially in how the rush of hormones associated with each of them make repeat experiences almost inevitable, and infects the 'be easy on yourself' approach to the joy of reading this book.

As well as concentrating on personal self-acceptance and well-being there are also insights into how compassion can be a healthy part of any organisation. It is interesting to read examples of Paul Gilbert's recent experiences of working in the NHS which has adopted the business model. In particular to see the effects of over-systematising the incentive and protection systems at the expense of human kindness that eventually becomes self-defeating and emotionally unsustainable. As Gilbert puts it, a singular quest for greater efficiencies can "play havoc with our minds, morale and ability to develop cooperative working relationships." He then goes on to announce that "managers who are only results focused...and who can't inspire people to do their best, end up wasting money.. and a team of the lesser talented is likely to beat one made up of those who are more gifted but are treated as marketable objects who don't cooperate."

In analysing the evolutionary triune brain and the unique signature of wires which have become crossed between the various parts (to quote Hebb's famous rule that "neurons that fire together, wire together) the reader is guided through the traps of evolutionary inheritance. The positive underlying message, however, is that a course of mindfulness, appreciation, curiosity and compassion can become antidotes to our automatically programmed social mentalities, and the latter half of the book is devoted to outlining and building the compassionate Self via a series of skills and exercises.

A key chapter in self-building is entitled from 'Self-criticism to Self-compassion' which I found the most useful especially in its distinction between shame and guilt with regard to transgressions, and self-esteem versus self-criticism: '..self-esteem tends to increase when you are doing well - it focuses on getting ahead of others, and is rather self-focused. Self-compassion concentrates on how we treat ourselves (and others) when things are going badly'.

There are so many gems of wisdom in this book that it is hard to credibly summarise the reading experience, only to say that a life-changing work for individuals and groups isn't far of the mark."
~ Written on 2010-06-29

"This title was recommended to me by my psychologist, for home reading.I found it informative and easy to read a book to keep for further self referal."
~ Written on 2010-06-23

"I bought the Compassionate Mind with very high expectations as it was highly recommended to use in complex cases. Unfortunately the structure and lay-out doesn't make it easy reading and often I found it to be a bit fluffy. I think Paul has developed the compassionate mind model after writing this book and would probably use it more to save time and be more goal directed. I must add reading the compassionate mind takes concentration and focus - not light bedtime reading. In saying that I loved the second part of the book that is aimed at developing the compassionate self. Perhaps if the first part was a bit tighter and more condensed I would have found more value in it."
~ Written on 2010-06-19