The Drama of Being a Child : The Search for the True Self

"I read this book almost thirty years ago and it sent me straight into depression. Instead of helping me to take on a responsible attitude to overcome my problems it created in me a crippling victim-attitude that took me years to overcome. Twenty five years later a former friend of mine read this book, as well. She was already depressed at the time. Unfortunately, this book worsened her depression and not long afterwards she killed herself. I am a counsellor now and I can only recommend to give this and other books of Alice Miller a miss. Do your research first. There are several interviews of Miller on the net that reveal her as a very depressed person herself. That's absolutely no surprise to me."
~ Written on 2008-04-30

"Alice Miller is the most amazing, courageous, insightful and eloquent writer I have ever read. Her books have helped me take huge leaps and strides on my journey back to my childhood to find my true self. I am still on that journey and each time i re-read 'The Drama' I find something new that helps me move forward a few more steps. I would recommend that every single person on this planet reads it and slowly the world will become a better place."
~ Written on 2008-02-28

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This book is written with very deep insight, compassion, eloquence, clarity and power. Alice Miller speaks of the vital importance for us to discover our own personal truth that puts us in touch with our true self. As Ms. Miller states it can be very painful to discover our real feelings since many of us have repressed hurt feelings from childhood trauma that we have buried and we have hid these feelings not only from our parents but from ourselves as well.

What I have learned from this remarkable book is that we hide these feelings from our parents so they will `love' us, but it's not our true self that they love since it is these hidden feelings that are the manifestations of who we really are. In its place we give our parents an image of ourselves so as to make them happy. This fulfills their needs but we hide our own since we fear that the expression of our own needs will lead to parental rejection and correspondingly to a loss of their love.

When we hide and suppress these childhood unacknowledged needs then the basis of all our future relationships will be determined by these unrequited needs and they become the unconscious motivations that drive us throughout our adult lives.

It is only by getting in touch with these lost needs that we can begin to discover those missing parts of ourselves. This is just the beginning to true "self discovery" that is, it is the beginning to discovering and becoming who we truly are so that, eventually, we can become who we are truly destined to be.

A fine book indeed.
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~ Written on 2007-11-28

"This is one of the best books ever written and one of the most powerful tools for one's self-discovery, to be free from narcissism. Miller has provided strong insights into this book, which encouraged and forced us to face the truth from our childhood, and why we hid our true selves as children.

We are all living in a narcissist society, and we have learned our narcissist traits to some degree. For us to get rid of these traits, we must seek to be free from the deadly emotional influences that shaped our lives. This book is one of the keys for which we will acquire to be free.

I would strongly recommend "The Drama of the Gifted Child" for those who seek for the truth about themselves."
~ Written on 2007-11-06

"Alice Miller highlights in this book the importance of looking into one's own history in order to understand our psychological makeup and become free of behaviors that otherwise hinders us in being ourselves. I have come to understand irrational and debilitating aspects of my own behaviors, that stemmed from childhood traumas, and seen how these can be liberated once they are experienced emotionally. It is not done over night and not by just reading this book alone.

The book is however a great encouragement and at the same time through stories and examples gives an understanding of where to look and clues to some of the behaviors that previously were simply confusing and puzzling. I wished I had read this book 19 years ago, when I first encountered therapy as it would have been an added help in understanding the process that I had started on. Another powerful book on this subject is "The Narcissistic Family".

All in all a highly recommended book, as understanding the human 'machine' is vital in order to become free, as Gurdjieff would say.
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~ Written on 2007-08-09