The Healing Companion: Simple and Effective Ways Your Presence Can Help People Heal

"I picked this book up off the shelf because I have been grappling with my husband's recent diagnosis. As his caregiver, I have often felt frantic trying to organize his medications, supplements, and doctors' appointments while searching the internet for some sort of "cure." Jeff Kane very gently brought me back to earth...and to my husband's immediate need for my compassion and calmness. Since reading this wonderful book and putting Dr. Kane's suggestions to use, I have seen a change in my husband's demeanor; a rise in his hopefulness and an abatement of his pain. All I have done is become a more patient, loving and affirming wife. I let him talk about his illness, when and if he wants to. I listen, without judgement or solutions. And I pray for a healing of his body and spirit. Thank you, Dr. Kane, for sharing your wisdom with caregivers- professional and amateur. We can all learn from this book. "
~ Written on 2007-06-18

"I LOVE this book. I'm a hospice nurse, and fairly comfortable talking with people who are facing their own death, but this is by far the best thing I've read on the topic. Besides being a wonderful, accessible writer, Jeff Kane is funny, wise, and practical. He's obviously done his own spiritual work, and his book shows that. I looked forward to every chapter, each of which seemed to answer a question I'd barely known to ask, and to answer it in a way that has helped me immensely in my practice, as well as in dealing with people in my own life who are dealing with things we wish weren't happening. Get it. Read it. Read it again. I'm on my second copy."
~ Written on 2006-09-19

"Caregivers who live with a severely ill family member or friend receive a guide on how they can handle life-threatening and life-changing illness. From how to help others heal using one's presence and support to understanding differences between healing and curing, this is packed with advice from the author's own work with cancer support groups, and provides a solid foundation for understanding and growth."
~ Written on 2003-07-16

"Have you ever read a book that felt like you were having a conversation with a good friend? Jeff Kane's new book, The Healing Companion makes me feel comforted, entertained, encouraged and enlightened; just as if I'd spent time talking with a good friend.

The book could be considered as a guide toward offering sick loved ones our healing presence. This guidance is valid for anyone relating to someone who is sick and is just as helpful to doctors, nurses and counselors as it is to family members and anyone who has a loved one who is sick.

A quote from page three says "This book will guide you toward offering sick loved ones your healing presence. By learning to ask them exactly how they're suffering and help them express their feelings thoroughly, you'll encourage an atmosphere of honesty. You'll move toward a perspective in which whatever happens physically, the emotional turmoil surrounding it will settle. All involved will benefit from increasing serenity."

I found especially helpful Jeff's discussion of how sick people suffer. He talks about really listening to their suffering and hearing their fears, anxieties, confusion, depression and rages. He says "I learned that people get emotional when they're sick and that fear and anger and despair aren't abnormal; they're a natural feature of sickness. In fact, I'd worry about the mental health of sick people who weren't affected by their consequent feelings. Hearing many hundreds of stories, I gradually learned that people don't generally suffer from their disease as much as from their emotions, the reactions their disease ignites in them." (page seven)

The rest of the chapters in the book are just as juicy and relevant as the above examples. In "Speaking With TLC", Jeff encourages speaking (only after much listening) with truth, leanness and compassion. He gives examples and practical questions to ask ourselves to pass the "TLC" test.

My two favorite chapters are "Welcoming Mystery" and "Healing Yourself". The first deals with the existential questions that illness can stir and the second with "continual" self care. What profound encouragement both offer for living in this world.

I truly enjoyed reading this book (and have read several sections more than once). The wonderful stories of courage and healing inspired me to be a better listener, a better friend and even a better person. Thank you Jeff."
~ Written on 2001-05-19

"Anyone confronted with the serious sickness of a family member of friend will find this sensitive but unsentimental book invaluable. Jeff Kane not only shows how the emotional support and participation of one's friends and family help the sick person in his or her illness (that is, the social and spiritual disclocation and emotional and psychological suffering caused by the disease), but also gives very concrete, practical suggestions on listening, responding, respecting, and feeling and showing compassion. Dr. Kane's insights about the experience of suffering, the devastation it causes and the opportunities it offers both the sick person and the care-giver for self-knowledge and personal transfromation make this a book to be read and reread time and again."
~ Written on 2001-04-03