Never the Same: Coming to Terms with the Death of a Parent

"This book sounded like a good one...I loved the title and hoped for more than I found inside. The author keeps teasing, "If you went through the death of your parent, read on for practical help!" Chapter after chapter is filled with this entreaty. It gets annoying to read this plea in every chapter! Finally, the very last chapter in the book consists of 10 suggestions for moving on from the death of a parent. They are very simplistic and not worth reading the entire book to get.

I lost my mother when I was 10, and it is something I will never truly recover from. It has shaped my life from that time forward, and made me who I am. I read a lot of books about people who lose a parent in their childhood, just to see what other people have gone through. My dad was not a very interactive parent either, so I consider myself an orphan in some ways. I think there are better books about healing from the loss of a parent."
~ Written on 2008-07-07

"I was so hopeful when I picked up this book. As an adult who lost a parent during my childhood and as a professional who has worked with grieving children for more than 25 years, I was looking forward to reading this book with the hope that it would be an invaluable resource. Unfortunately, although easy to read, I was disappointed. There are better books out there. I recommend anything by Alan Wolfelt or Never Too Young To Know by Phyllis Silverman. If a child has a serious or terminally ill parent, I highly recommend Wendy Harpham's books. If you are an adult who lost a parent during your childhood, take a look at The Loss That Is Forever by Maxine Harris or Hope Edelman's classic, Motherless Daughters. "
~ Written on 2007-08-29

"This practical, sensible guide has a permanent place on my bookshelf. Like a stone thrown in a pond, the death of parent will impact a child or teen forever. Anything to ease this process is a gem."
~ Written on 2006-04-21

"Never The Same is a book that weaves a straight talking, light-hearted tone with accurate academic information. My father died when I was eleven and through my subsequent studies, I can see the relevancy of its contents.

Dr. Schuurman uses her experience and anecdotes from children and families at the Dougy Center to aid the reader in understanding the bereavement issues discussed.

I have shared this book with adults who attend our Center. Overwhelmingly they agree that reading Never the Same sheds light on their childhood history and provides insight into the current (and possibly future) experiences of their bereaved children.

One of the best things Shuurman has done is to include questionnaires triggering memories that provide insights. This book is easy to read and written with a hopeful tone."
~ Written on 2003-04-18

"If you, or anyone you know, had a parent die in childhood, drop everything and read this book. Dr. Schuurman's wisdom, humor, and conventional style engages the reader with thought-provoking insight and practical suggestions. This is not 'just another' self-help book: it could, quite literally, change lives.

Never the Same gives information for adults about their experiences with a parent's death during childhood that clarifies, for many, the issues carried into adulthood. Specifically this book addresses intrapersonal and interpersonal issues stemming from the death of a parent.

Reading this book not only gives hope for those investigating the impact of a parent's death but also gives specific recommendations about what can be done now in an adult's life.

Those to whom I've recommended this book have joyously thanked me for giving them an easy to read personal inventory. Dr. Schuurman has intersperced Never the Same with activities and inventories designed to integrate the past with the present.

It is the first book of its kind that I've seen. Buy it now and you won't be disappointed."
~ Written on 2003-04-18