A General Theory of Love

"What I hate most about reading about an author's love philosophy is that usually it's full of mushy gushy stories about destiny and true love. This book is completely different. It may seem a bit dry in comparison, but what it lacks in storytelling it makes up for in scientific scrutiny of the human mind and our brain's capacity for love. I read this book several years ago, and what still stands out in my mind was the contrast between the brain of a chicken and the brain of a dog (or maybe it was a cat). A chicken's brain doesn't have the physical capacity for love and you can see that in their eyes. But when you look into the eyes of your pup isn't that love looking back at you?"
~ Written on 2008-08-26

"Just what the doctor ordered. Written with with a poet's flourish this well-researched book is an easy read of a complex subject. Definitely a new way of looking at the most talked about yet least understood subject - Love!"
~ Written on 2008-06-17

"It was an interesting approach to characterize love scientifically. The book has many clear insights although sometimes it feels like they are making stretches to get to their points.

Aside from that, this is an incredible read that points us in the right direction to living a more healthy and fulfilling life."
~ Written on 2008-01-23

"The eloquence and clarity with which Lewis, Amini, & Lannon present their general theory of love is almost as impressive as their dexterity in reducing something as elusive as love into a readable 230 pages. The authors initiate their discussion by describing the evolution of the human brain and the "brains" that comprise it: the reptilian brain, the limbic brain, and the neocortical brain, wherein the first is the most archaic of the three brains and is responsible for our vital, non-voluntary functions, the second allows for subtle and elaborate interactions with others, and the third orchestrates our conscience existence and the activities therein. The authors then dovetail into a discussion about memory and reason --- necessary precursors to a respectable discussion of love and its implications in our personal lives. The crux of the book -- and most engaging section, no less -- is ushered in with the declaration, "Who we are and who we become depends, in part, on whom we love" (pp.144). The authors note, however, that the aforementioned love distinctly differs from being 'in love', that is, the "potent feeling that the other fits in a way that no one has before or will again, [along with] an irresistible desire for skin-to-skin proximity, [as well as] a delirious urge to disregard all else" (pp.206). True love, however, "derives from intimacy, the prolonged and detailed surveillance of a foreign soul" (pp.207). Most importantly, however, the authors pointedly declare that "love cannot be extracted, commanded, demanded, or wheedled. It can only be given" (pp.209) -- a revelation that (rightly) punctuates "A General Theory of Love".
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~ Written on 2007-10-25

"I think that this book should be read not only by parents, but also by all the professionals who work with hurt or sick people and in particular by doctors and therapists.
The book is very well written combining science and poetic expression. I think this is the field that deserves so much more research, training and general awareness. We deal with consequences of "poor loving" all the time not only in our professional life (I am a doctor) but in our relationships, friendships, on our roads, service industry, our streets, schools.
This book also uses science and anthropology rather than just an opinion and experience to explain human emotional reactions and experience of love in it's universal form rather than just romantic and to remind us of consequences related to ignoring this essential part of our human existence.
It is an excellent book, but I would agree that not enough was done to develop the idea of self-regulation and treatment options outside the role of therapy. I expected this to be developed in the chapter "Between stone and sky, what can be done to heal hearts gone astray", but it did not live up to that expectation and if the authors were to write another edition to this book this would be the chapter to add to and really develop.
I also have bought extra copies as gifts for a few of my friends who work as therapists.
I would also like to add that there are so many boring books out there in the popular psychology addressing this important subject, but done so poorly and with no depth whatsoever. I am glad that someone from the scientific community bothered to actually write a book of this standard on this important subject and hope that there are more such books in the future ( the authors are encouraged to write and publish more in the future)."
~ Written on 2007-10-01