I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality

"I have some borderline traits, and this book came highly recomended to me. I wasn't impressed at all. First, it simply needs updating to include newer medications and treatment options. That was a big thing that I noticed. The other major problem that I had with the book is that it seems much more geared towards people who know someone with BPD and not people who have (or think they may have) BPD. I walked away from the book feeling like I hadn't learned anything useful that could help me understand and work towards overcoming my extreme anger issues. Fortunatley, this is my second BPD book to read, so I did not walk away from it thinking there was no hope. The first book I read was "Get Me Out of Here", an autobiographical book from a BPD sufferer, Rachel Reiland. I would definitely recommend her book over this one."
~ Written on 2008-08-08

"this book is dated (published in 1989 a lot can happen in 20 years), and heavy on annecdotal recollections. for every nugget of useful information/advise, there are two or three examples of borderlines in action. these "war stories" do not offer much in the way of advice or coping options. anyone who has been in a relationship with a BPD (marriage/divorce, professional, friendship, etc.) knows the drill. I agree with the reviewer who advises "don't make this your first BPD book". the book has value, but I found the helpful parts few and far between. put this fourth on fifth on your reading list."
~ Written on 2008-07-29

"Our family has come in contact with this disorder and nobody had a clue what was going on. The title alone drew me in because it related so closely to what I have been witnessing. Within the first three chapters, I almost wore out my highlighter. So much was similar to our situation that I was flabbergasted! I have a lot more to research on the subject, but this was a good start.

I definitely recommend!"
~ Written on 2008-07-25

"If it wasn't for this book, I would have never knew what the hell was wrong with me. I didn't understand by standard depression therapy and medications weren't working and I didn't understand why (still don't) my relationships always seemed so shallow. I recommend you read this book and then quickly follow it up with his second one "Sometimes I act crazy!" they have truly helped me change my life. "
~ Written on 2008-07-23

"I bought it because I thought it would help me understand my diagnosis. It made me feel utterly hopeless. I lent it to the woman I was rapidly falling love with. We referred to it as the "Doom and Gloom" book, initially trying to be light about things. Eventually, of course, life (including BPD) caught up with us.

This is such a damaging book. This book lists nightmare story after nightmare story, suggests that we can't get better, and then guesses at who may or may not have been suffering with BPD - a famous woman who killed herself, an infamous man who killed millions.

If the author is a doctor he should have his license revoked - first do no harm, isn't that how it goes? To publish this drivel, then add unproven theories and present it the way it's presented is dangerous and irresponsible.

Sadly, yes, BPD sufferers can inflict pain on others. This book can only cause grave misunderstandings, prejudice, and more pain. It is horribly one sided and does a disservice to BPD sufferers and non-BPD sufferers alike.

I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone other than to use it as kindling.
"
~ Written on 2008-07-16