The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed or Desperate

"Dr. Harriet Lerner's book, the Dance of Connection, refocused me on the importance of good communication. As a certified group psychotherapist and psychotherapist I think this well thought out book offers interesting examples and engaging stories to illustrate how we as people can relate more effectively when communicating with others whether family, friend or business connection. I found Dr. Lerner's words personally validating when checking on my own communication skills where I have done a good job and where to let it alone when I am trying too hard.

I recommend this wonderful book to my clients as well as Dr. Lerner's other well written books that I have read: The Dance of Intimacy, The Dance of Anger and The Dance of Deception.

Mary Jane Hurley Brant, Author of When Every Day Matters
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~ Written on 2008-11-22

"This author, Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., was recommended to me by a friend. She thought it might help me in my sturggle to resolve a marital issue I have been having. This book did, indeed, offer valuable insights into how families interact and interconnect, from ancestral beginnings that influence us up through the generations. It helped me realize that many of my patterns of interacting with the men in my life could be traced back to my father, his father, and possibly further (if that information could be found). Unfortunately, my father passed away at age 81, two years ago this month. After reading this book I had a long conversation with my mother (now 81 and very healthy and active) about how she and her father and mother interacted as she was growing up. Though my issues turned out to be connected much more closely to my father's side of the family, it was wonderful to hear stories about my mother's life. If I had planned ahead, I definitely would have had a tape recorder ready because we will probably never be able to duplicate what was shared, that day, in the sunshine, in my lovely backyard garden, with both of us just pleasantly swinging on my swing! I HIGHLY recommend this book...even if you're not struggling with interpersonal issues (but who in the world doesn't from time to time?!). Another heavily underlined resource!!!"
~ Written on 2008-10-01

"I identify with many of the examples. I feel supported by this. Dr Lerner uses a few examples from earlier books. The author offers her own experiences and feelings.....very effective for me. i'm in the process of establishing some of the suggested practices right now.....in my relationships."
~ Written on 2008-09-14

"My counselor suggested that I read this book and I am so glad she did! It is so easy to read, and it has so much helpful insight that I have read it twice and recommended it to many of my friends and family members.

The Dance of Connection gives advice on how to set boundaries within your relationships so that you don't end up feeling used or resentful. It also is really clear about how to keep a relationship alive without completely distancing from it or abandoning it.

This book is really easy to read. It includes lots of bullets for important points, stories of how people have dealt with their relationships, and kind-hearted advice about how to give yourself space and time to deal with the issues in your own relationships.

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~ Written on 2008-04-14

"Haven't read this one yet but love the other books I've read by the author. She's a great help in understanding the dances we participate in with others and the outcomes from the way we dance."
~ Written on 2008-02-11