The Orphaned Adult: Understanding and Coping with Grief and Change After the Death of Our Parents

"I picked up this book twice since my mother died 2 months ago. Both times it made me feel worse! I do not recommend this book for people in the early stages of grief. It was too subjective and more suited to an observer rather than self-help. This was surprising after reading the reviews here which influenced my purchase. The most helpful book I found to date is "A Time to Grieve" by Carol Staudacher."
~ Written on 2008-06-24

"Even though I finished reading this book almost three months ago, I have been waiting to write a review on it. My Lithuanian born father passed away in his home almost nine months ago. Like the author I grew up in a home where languages other than English--Lithuanian and German--were spoken and played on the radio. As described: "The vapors of richly flavored cabbage soups and exotically spiced stews so permeated the wallpaper and woodwork that the odors filled the house on sweltering summer days regardless of what was on the stove. Homes were shrines to foreign lands, walls draped in faded tapestries and bookshelves lined with illegibly embossed and brittle book bindings." How true! My father almost to his dying day enjoyed the food of his homeland still cooked by my mother. (How he loved saltibarscius--or cold beet soup!) I miss those days of childhood and could never truly recreate what they meant to me growing up in suburban Detroit. However the author reassures me that we are never entirely free of our attachment there: "Who we knew, who we loved, and who we have been loved by are enduring facts that provide continuity in our otherwise changing lives." Likewise it is my father's memory and the memory of my mother with him that endures in my heart--memories left that are so endearing, so precious and worthy to be "preserved as carefully as if they were brittle snapshots displayed in ornate frames, on a table covered with the finest linen or lace." I know that my mother will be joining my father in the not-to-distant future but I know that her memory, as his, will never die. I truly believe that in loving and preserving the gifts of a heritage our parents gave us that we are given the strength to endure and go on. The Lithuanian people, a culture that has existed for over 700 years, from a country often occupied by its enemies, in the past not even noted on some western maps, can attest to that. "
~ Written on 2008-05-08

"Most everyone outlives their parents. It doesn't matter at what age you lose them, once they are both gone, you are an orphan. My husband of 65 has just lost his 96 year old mother and he feels as abandoned as a child. This book is a great comfort because it addresses this very common but still emotionally serious subject. As Levy points out, there are volumes dedicated to the loss of spouse, child, siblings, etc but nothing to comfort us all who lose our parents. I have given this book to many friends who have lost their final parent - in fact this order was for two friends. I recommend it highly."
~ Written on 2008-03-28

"I read every book on this subject I could find after my parents and aunt passed away. This was, by far, my favorite. I've given it away as a Hospice volunteer and to friends grieving the loss of a parent. Comforting and very helpful - don't pass it up."
~ Written on 2008-03-23

"I thought that the loss of my Mom would be more or less the same impact as losing my Dad 7 years earlier. WRONG. I did not understand how hard I would bump into my own mortality. I also underestimated how losing the only person left that I had known (and had known me) my ENTIRE life, from the moment I was born, would impact me. Like a ton of bricks it hit me. This book helped me with a light touch and helped me to understand much of the weird turmoil I was and am still experiencing. Much as anyone else says "I know exactly what you're going thru", unless they've lost BOTH parents, they don't quite get it. I know I didn't before it happened to me. If you're newly orphaned, read this book."
~ Written on 2007-11-08