The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World
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By: Marti Olsen Laney
Format: Paperback
From: Workman Publishing Company
Pub. Date: January 2002
From: Workman Publishing Company
Pub. Date: January 2002
Product Details:
Catalog: Book
Release Date: 2002-02-01
Media: Paperback
Number Of Pages: 330
Ean: 9780761123699
Isbn: 0761123695
Catalog: Book
Release Date: 2002-02-01
Media: Paperback
Number Of Pages: 330
Ean: 9780761123699
Isbn: 0761123695
ABOUT THE BOOK
EDITORIAL REVIEW
At least one out of four people prefers to avoid the limelight, tends to listen more than they speak, feels alone in large groups, and requires lots of private time to restore their energy. They're introverts, and here is the book to help them boost their confidence while learning strategies for successfully living in an extrovert world.
After dispelling common myths about introverts-they're not necessarily shy, aloof, or antisocial--The Introvert Advantage explains the real issues. Introverts are hardwired from birth to focus inward, so outside stimulation-chitchat, phone calls, parties, office meetings-can easily become "too much."
The Introvert Advantage dispels introverts' belief that something is wrong with them and instead helps them recognize their inner strengths-their analytical skills, ability to think outside the box, and strong powers of concentration. It helps readers understand introversion and shows them how to determine where they fall on the introvert/extrovert continuum. It provides tools to improve relationships with partners, kids, colleagues, and friends, offering dozens of tips, including 10 ways to talk less and communicate more, 8 ways to showcase your abilities at work, how to take a child's temperament temperature, and strategies for socializing. Finally, it shows how to not just survive, but thrive-how to take advantage of the introvert's special qualities to create a life that's just right for the introvert temperament, to discover new ways to expand their energy reserves, and even how, when necessary, to confidently become a temporary extrovert.
After dispelling common myths about introverts-they're not necessarily shy, aloof, or antisocial--The Introvert Advantage explains the real issues. Introverts are hardwired from birth to focus inward, so outside stimulation-chitchat, phone calls, parties, office meetings-can easily become "too much."
The Introvert Advantage dispels introverts' belief that something is wrong with them and instead helps them recognize their inner strengths-their analytical skills, ability to think outside the box, and strong powers of concentration. It helps readers understand introversion and shows them how to determine where they fall on the introvert/extrovert continuum. It provides tools to improve relationships with partners, kids, colleagues, and friends, offering dozens of tips, including 10 ways to talk less and communicate more, 8 ways to showcase your abilities at work, how to take a child's temperament temperature, and strategies for socializing. Finally, it shows how to not just survive, but thrive-how to take advantage of the introvert's special qualities to create a life that's just right for the introvert temperament, to discover new ways to expand their energy reserves, and even how, when necessary, to confidently become a temporary extrovert.
USER REVIEWS
"I really learned a lot about myself. This book breaks it down in plain simple to understand terms. It describes how and why you do the things you do. It shows how to relate to extraverts and how you look to them. It also shows you have to deal with introverted children and extroverted lovers. It gives you clear, and easy to do advice on how to deal with social siturations. This is the best book for introverts or those who know and love introverts."
~ Written on 2008-08-30
~ Written on 2008-08-30
"Just recently, someone I greatly respect was denigrated by a third party, simply for being "an introvert." Never mind that this man's career path practically demands the ability to "think deep thoughts" alone, to study for hours on end, and to project a public image of quiet reflection. It was his natural reticence that drew the criticism - the aversion to noisy crowds, in which it is difficult to follow the thread of a conversation. The demands of a shallow public. In spite of his many talents and abilities, this man was practically labeled "antisocial" because he's not a natural at glad-handing.
Introverts get a lot of this. Ask ten people to explain what introversion is, and you'll get ten completely different explanations. On one end of the spectrum, you'll get people like my mother, who saw introversion as something close to godliness. As a daughter, I was a dream come true for Mom, who was quite shy. "You don't need lots of people around," she'd say. "You're independent - not like those other kids who always need crowds and noise." Well, yes, those qualities can certainly give a teenager clear advantages, not the least of which is a resistance to peer pressure. But plenty of teenage introverts isolate themselves from healthy relationships, allowing neuroses to incubate. They grow up to be Ted Kaczynskis or Jeffrey Dahmers.
On the other end of the scale are those who see every introvert as an antisocial psychotic. Our tendency not to self-disclose readily attracts suspicion, distrust, even fear in some who grew up differently.
The truth behind introversion is a combination of upbringing and brain chemistry. As a child (with no siblings to boot), I already knew that our family was a trio of individuals who were easily overwhelmed by crowds and noise. But that didn't explain why I felt a periodic need to run back into the house and sit alone in my room when a half-dozen friends and I had congregated for an ordinary afternoon at the local playground. There were no words to explain that feeling of being overwhelmed by sensory input - of needing a quiet respite to sort it all out before going back for more. My mother's praise of my "independence" didn't extend to being "rude."
It was only a couple of decades later that a friend made reference to the "battery" analogy - extroverts begin to feel depleted when alone for too long, and need the company of others to recharge, while introverts feel their equilibrium draining away with too much social and verbal interaction. That was the first time I'd discerned any understanding of this "eccentric" side of myself, and it spurred me to learn more about it. Marti Olsen Laney's book goes a long way toward explaining these factors.
Laney often writes from a personal perspective, and for some readers, this may detract from the overall effectiveness of her message. I found the biggest weakness in the book to be some of her advice to parents of introverts. In some instances, one gets the impression that introverts are not just a statistical minority, but a rather fragile and precious subgroup who need to be handled with kid gloves. Surely I'm not the only introvert who's tired of being approached with caution.
Beyond this one shortcoming, I would recommend The Introvert Advantage to any reader who still views introverts in one dimension.
"
~ Written on 2008-08-10
Introverts get a lot of this. Ask ten people to explain what introversion is, and you'll get ten completely different explanations. On one end of the spectrum, you'll get people like my mother, who saw introversion as something close to godliness. As a daughter, I was a dream come true for Mom, who was quite shy. "You don't need lots of people around," she'd say. "You're independent - not like those other kids who always need crowds and noise." Well, yes, those qualities can certainly give a teenager clear advantages, not the least of which is a resistance to peer pressure. But plenty of teenage introverts isolate themselves from healthy relationships, allowing neuroses to incubate. They grow up to be Ted Kaczynskis or Jeffrey Dahmers.
On the other end of the scale are those who see every introvert as an antisocial psychotic. Our tendency not to self-disclose readily attracts suspicion, distrust, even fear in some who grew up differently.
The truth behind introversion is a combination of upbringing and brain chemistry. As a child (with no siblings to boot), I already knew that our family was a trio of individuals who were easily overwhelmed by crowds and noise. But that didn't explain why I felt a periodic need to run back into the house and sit alone in my room when a half-dozen friends and I had congregated for an ordinary afternoon at the local playground. There were no words to explain that feeling of being overwhelmed by sensory input - of needing a quiet respite to sort it all out before going back for more. My mother's praise of my "independence" didn't extend to being "rude."
It was only a couple of decades later that a friend made reference to the "battery" analogy - extroverts begin to feel depleted when alone for too long, and need the company of others to recharge, while introverts feel their equilibrium draining away with too much social and verbal interaction. That was the first time I'd discerned any understanding of this "eccentric" side of myself, and it spurred me to learn more about it. Marti Olsen Laney's book goes a long way toward explaining these factors.
Laney often writes from a personal perspective, and for some readers, this may detract from the overall effectiveness of her message. I found the biggest weakness in the book to be some of her advice to parents of introverts. In some instances, one gets the impression that introverts are not just a statistical minority, but a rather fragile and precious subgroup who need to be handled with kid gloves. Surely I'm not the only introvert who's tired of being approached with caution.
Beyond this one shortcoming, I would recommend The Introvert Advantage to any reader who still views introverts in one dimension.
"
~ Written on 2008-08-10
"I had high hopes for this book. Sadly it didn't live up to them.
All the usefull information in this book could have been summed up in a well written 5 page paper. However it wasn't. Instead you get 330 pages full of "There is nothing wrong with you... no really, I get that too" which just proves that someone as weird as "you" can write a book and not much else.
The first 50 or so pages are usefull once you learn to dodge the overload of compassion. It will tell you a thing or two about the inner workings of the introvert / extravert brain and from this you can learn valuable lessons on how to lead your life. Stop reading there. Once you get the point, close the book and open your mind. Have a nice long think and experiment a little.
Should you decide to read on, you will be told that "nothing is wrong with you" so often that you start to believe the opposite."
~ Written on 2008-08-07
All the usefull information in this book could have been summed up in a well written 5 page paper. However it wasn't. Instead you get 330 pages full of "There is nothing wrong with you... no really, I get that too" which just proves that someone as weird as "you" can write a book and not much else.
The first 50 or so pages are usefull once you learn to dodge the overload of compassion. It will tell you a thing or two about the inner workings of the introvert / extravert brain and from this you can learn valuable lessons on how to lead your life. Stop reading there. Once you get the point, close the book and open your mind. Have a nice long think and experiment a little.
Should you decide to read on, you will be told that "nothing is wrong with you" so often that you start to believe the opposite."
~ Written on 2008-08-07
"An incredibly interesting read on the nature of introversion from several vantage points--biology, psychology, sociology, etc. Laney makes her vast research extremely readable and entertaining. She debunks the myths (or misunderstandings) that introverts are taciturn, anti-social and reclusive. She highlights the positive qualities of introverts and advises how they can play to these strengths. While introverts are the primary target audience for this book, it is also helpful reading for extroverts in that it will help them understand more fully how we introverts think, interact and function. Highly recommended."
~ Written on 2008-07-30
~ Written on 2008-07-30
"On the back it says, ¡§Filled with Aha! Moments.¡¨
It is true, as an Introvert, I had many of these reading this book. I scrapbook with a group of wonderful girls. One time Christine brought this book. We took the quiz and all but one of us are introverts. It was fun to realize that about each other and maybe it is why we all get along so well, we can understand each other. One of my Aha moments, was I hate to make phone calls. Apparently this is a situation many introverts face. It made me feel less weird. º
I have learned a lot about personality types for years now and read many different books, mostly focusing on the Myers/Briggs test. It is really interesting because I was an INFJ when I first was married and now I am and ISFJ. You can take the test yourself at mypersonality.info
This was the first book I had seen or read about introverts specifically. It was wonderful to read. It has helped me to understand more about myself and also my son who is an introvert as well. I think it has also helped me to better understand my husband who is an extrovert, because it does have a section about introvert/extrovert couples.
So I recommend The Introvert Advantage to any introvert, or anyone who deals with an introvert on a frequent basis (family member, colleague) Some of my other favorite personality books are Nurture by Nature: How to Raise Happy, Healthy, Responsible Children Through the Insights of Personality Typeand MotherStyles: Using Personality Type to Discover Your Parenting Strengths, both parenting books. The first focuses on your children¡¦s personality styles and how to help them, the second focuses on your personality and how to use your strengths as a mother.
"
~ Written on 2008-06-26
It is true, as an Introvert, I had many of these reading this book. I scrapbook with a group of wonderful girls. One time Christine brought this book. We took the quiz and all but one of us are introverts. It was fun to realize that about each other and maybe it is why we all get along so well, we can understand each other. One of my Aha moments, was I hate to make phone calls. Apparently this is a situation many introverts face. It made me feel less weird. º
I have learned a lot about personality types for years now and read many different books, mostly focusing on the Myers/Briggs test. It is really interesting because I was an INFJ when I first was married and now I am and ISFJ. You can take the test yourself at mypersonality.info
This was the first book I had seen or read about introverts specifically. It was wonderful to read. It has helped me to understand more about myself and also my son who is an introvert as well. I think it has also helped me to better understand my husband who is an extrovert, because it does have a section about introvert/extrovert couples.
So I recommend The Introvert Advantage to any introvert, or anyone who deals with an introvert on a frequent basis (family member, colleague) Some of my other favorite personality books are Nurture by Nature: How to Raise Happy, Healthy, Responsible Children Through the Insights of Personality Typeand MotherStyles: Using Personality Type to Discover Your Parenting Strengths, both parenting books. The first focuses on your children¡¦s personality styles and how to help them, the second focuses on your personality and how to use your strengths as a mother.
"
~ Written on 2008-06-26