The New Dare to Discipline

"I am a Christian trauma therapist, specializing in the treatment of childhood emotional, physical and sexual abuse, dissociation (ie. mentally checking out because the present was too overwhelming and/or terrifying) and PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

I cannot tell you how many adults I have treated because their parents spanked, whipped, hit with belts, paddles, switches and hands and broke their hearts, destroyed their trust, installed Love=Pain on their internal "hard drive" and generally broke their spirit.

Rather than taking the time to read Dobson's manifesto on humiliation and control disguised as discipline, here's a few quick and easy ways to screw up your child and make sure he/she grows up to not only need extensive therapy, but also ensure he/she has no power, no voice, low self-esteem, poor confidence and attracts abusing, controlling spouses and bosses just like you:

1) Discipline is teaching. Instead of teaching using behavior modification with an age- appropriate reward vs deprivation chart, go out to the garage and find a rod, then use it with humiliation, fear and shame and tell them it's love. That produces instant obedience and instant damage.

2) Make them always be in fear of your power, it's the only way to make them fear rather than respect and trust you.

3) Demand that they be seen and not heard. Take away their voice, that way they won't ever talk back to you and they won't be able to talk back to a molester either.

Dobson was obviously abused and beaten as a child, and his denial of how awful that must have been when he was small is fueling his crusade that the way to raise good citizens is to spank your children into submission. Only an ignorant fool would believe that and here in the Baptist south, there's a lot like him. Please parents, watch Super Nanny for healthy models of how to tame out-of-control children without hitting.



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~ Written on 2008-09-21

"My parents raised me and my 2 brothers based on the guidelines in this book. We are all now respectful, successful, and well-rounded adults. I never once feared my parents, or hated/resented them. I was only actually spanked no more than 3-4 times in my life, which proves this method works when used properly - never hitting out of anger, etc. I now thank my parents for raising me wonderfully and I only hope I can do half as good of a job with my children. They credit their parenting success to this book and Dr. James Dobson."
~ Written on 2008-09-14

"This book is full of the dangerous rantings of a perverted person. He actually recommends whipping children as young as 15 months of age and tells parents not to pick up their infants when they cry. The book is full of statements like these that are in direct opposition to any scientific research.
As a parent who used a very different approach, I hope that people will keep away from this book and these methods. Yes, it is necessary to discipline children, but not by beating them. Children must learn to be self-disciplined, meaning it is important for children to understand the reasons behind rules, not just to behave out of fear.
Stay away from this book if you love your children. Use these methods if you want your children to hate and fear you."
~ Written on 2008-09-01

"This is a great book with very practial advice/examples. It is based on the Holy Bible and specific scriptures found on raising children. Based on some of the negative reviews, I'd guess those people don't believe the Bible and may not have even read this book! Otherwise, you wouldn't doubt his intentions or love for children. It has been a huge blessing in our household. Just to be clear, the discipline he advocates is not beating!! We do not, nor ever would beat our children."
~ Written on 2008-07-22

"Hitting and spanking are two totally different things. The bible says that using the rod should be grievous for both the parent and the child. A parent should never enjoy it. Switching a child at 15 months is training, conditioning. It is only (done right) enough to make the child stop and pay attention, never more than a light sting. It is not punishment. It is telling the child his/her behavior is not acceptable. After tantrums become a habit, it is extremely hard to break and becomes a part of them. Reading more thoroughly with a prayerful heart is recommended and take what you want, leave the rest as my husband and I have."
~ Written on 2008-07-12