Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue
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By: Edwin H. Friedman
Format: Hardcover
From: The Guilford Press
Pub. Date: June 1985
From: The Guilford Press
Pub. Date: June 1985
Product Details:
Catalog: Book
Release Date: 1985-07-19
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Pages: 319
Ean: 9780898620597
Isbn: 0898620597
Catalog: Book
Release Date: 1985-07-19
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Pages: 319
Ean: 9780898620597
Isbn: 0898620597
ABOUT THE BOOK
EDITORIAL REVIEW
This groundbreaking volume applies the concepts of systemic family therapy to the emotional life of congregations and their leaders. Challenging many of the conventions of pastoral counseling, Edwin H. Friedman shows how family theory points to a less stressful approach to the full range of the clergy's responsibilities. He also illuminates how congregational dynamics can be a useful model for the study of any family enmeshed in larger systems, and how such systems can themselves be viewed as "families."
Friedman compares the emotional processes at work within individual families to those in church and synagogue, suggesting that clergy can often do more to help families by the way they lead their congregations than they can through specific counseling interventions. Specific topics examined in depth include leadership through self-differentiation, managing separations in families and in congregations, and the influence of previous generations upon life cycle events. The power of the family model is clearly demonstrated in numerous examples drawn from Friedman's own extensive experience as a rabbi and practicing family therapist and from many other rabbis, priests, nuns, and ministers with whom he worked.
Both clergy and lay leaders will find that this book directly addresses the dilemmas and crises they encounter daily, while family therapists and other helping professionals may wish to recommend it to students and clients as a lucid introduction to family processes.
Friedman compares the emotional processes at work within individual families to those in church and synagogue, suggesting that clergy can often do more to help families by the way they lead their congregations than they can through specific counseling interventions. Specific topics examined in depth include leadership through self-differentiation, managing separations in families and in congregations, and the influence of previous generations upon life cycle events. The power of the family model is clearly demonstrated in numerous examples drawn from Friedman's own extensive experience as a rabbi and practicing family therapist and from many other rabbis, priests, nuns, and ministers with whom he worked.
Both clergy and lay leaders will find that this book directly addresses the dilemmas and crises they encounter daily, while family therapists and other helping professionals may wish to recommend it to students and clients as a lucid introduction to family processes.
USER REVIEWS
"Edwin Friedman is a rabbi, consultant, and scholar who is a pioneer in applying Bowen Family Systems Theory toward leadership in congregational (church and synagogue) settings.
Bowen Family Systems Theory is a theory that relies heavily on emotional processes--how emotionally mature a person is, the emotional reaction to anxiety, and managing one's emotions. This theory also advocates growing in emotional maturity via self-differentiation, staying in contact with others (friends and foes), and resolving conflict with parents and other family members.
Friedman takes this Bowen Theory (used mainly for family counseling to this point) and applies it to the church "family." His intended reader is a congregational pastor, priest, or rabbi. Bouncing from theory to practice, Friedman breaks down the various complex emotional processes for the reader/leader and empowers him to achieve greater emotional maturity.
Part I: Family Theory is a basic summary of Bowen Theory with a focus on concepts like "anxiety," "triangles," and "self-differentiation" even while focusing on the role of the leader. He emphasizes that the emotional maturity of any person in a family positively or negatively effects the emotional maturity of others in the family.
Part II: The Families within the Congregation examines the congregation as a collection of people with their own families of origin. Pastors frequently provide spiritual counseling for parishioners experiencing family conflict (husband versus wife, parents versus child, etc.). Here, Friedman presents a paradigm for counseling using the Bowen Theory. Instead of trying to solve the problem between (for example) husband and wife, the pastor considers that there might be more behind this conflict. He equips the couple to solve their own conflict by encouraging them to work on their relationship with others (e.g. their parents, uncles, etc.).
Part III: the Congregation as a Family System is the meat of "Generation to Generation." It is highly practical as it teaches the pastor how, when, and why to become a more self-defined leader. He is specific, addresses pertinent questions and concerns, and warns the pastor as to certain pitfalls. If you read any chapter in this book, read Chapter 9: Leadership and Self in a Congregation Family.
Part IV: Personal Families of the Clergy equips the pastor to create healthier relationships within his adult family (spouse and children) and with his family of origin (parents and siblings). For many pastors, their leadership ability is hamstrung by their own unresolved conflict with their families.
For years, my professors and mentors have been strongly encouraging me to read "Generation to Generation," long regarded as a pioneering, foundational work in congregational leadership. I am sorry I waited so long. Not only is "Generation to Generation" exceptionally well-written in its prose, its structure and variety is excellent as well. Friedman makes a strong connection with his reader and does him the favor of presenting many case studies (to break up the sometimes weighty text). His practical suggestions are rooted in wisdom. He clearly understands emotional processes and the way congregations are run.
Like those before me, I cannot recommend "Generation to Generation" highly enough. It now ranks among the top-five most-influential books I have ever read.
"
~ Written on 2008-08-23
Bowen Family Systems Theory is a theory that relies heavily on emotional processes--how emotionally mature a person is, the emotional reaction to anxiety, and managing one's emotions. This theory also advocates growing in emotional maturity via self-differentiation, staying in contact with others (friends and foes), and resolving conflict with parents and other family members.
Friedman takes this Bowen Theory (used mainly for family counseling to this point) and applies it to the church "family." His intended reader is a congregational pastor, priest, or rabbi. Bouncing from theory to practice, Friedman breaks down the various complex emotional processes for the reader/leader and empowers him to achieve greater emotional maturity.
Part I: Family Theory is a basic summary of Bowen Theory with a focus on concepts like "anxiety," "triangles," and "self-differentiation" even while focusing on the role of the leader. He emphasizes that the emotional maturity of any person in a family positively or negatively effects the emotional maturity of others in the family.
Part II: The Families within the Congregation examines the congregation as a collection of people with their own families of origin. Pastors frequently provide spiritual counseling for parishioners experiencing family conflict (husband versus wife, parents versus child, etc.). Here, Friedman presents a paradigm for counseling using the Bowen Theory. Instead of trying to solve the problem between (for example) husband and wife, the pastor considers that there might be more behind this conflict. He equips the couple to solve their own conflict by encouraging them to work on their relationship with others (e.g. their parents, uncles, etc.).
Part III: the Congregation as a Family System is the meat of "Generation to Generation." It is highly practical as it teaches the pastor how, when, and why to become a more self-defined leader. He is specific, addresses pertinent questions and concerns, and warns the pastor as to certain pitfalls. If you read any chapter in this book, read Chapter 9: Leadership and Self in a Congregation Family.
Part IV: Personal Families of the Clergy equips the pastor to create healthier relationships within his adult family (spouse and children) and with his family of origin (parents and siblings). For many pastors, their leadership ability is hamstrung by their own unresolved conflict with their families.
For years, my professors and mentors have been strongly encouraging me to read "Generation to Generation," long regarded as a pioneering, foundational work in congregational leadership. I am sorry I waited so long. Not only is "Generation to Generation" exceptionally well-written in its prose, its structure and variety is excellent as well. Friedman makes a strong connection with his reader and does him the favor of presenting many case studies (to break up the sometimes weighty text). His practical suggestions are rooted in wisdom. He clearly understands emotional processes and the way congregations are run.
Like those before me, I cannot recommend "Generation to Generation" highly enough. It now ranks among the top-five most-influential books I have ever read.
"
~ Written on 2008-08-23
"This book is a eye-opener. Very good and so helpful to understand family dynamics and workplace- or congregational-dynamics. A must for clergy and those who have family problems of any kind."
~ Written on 2008-03-04
~ Written on 2008-03-04
"
Edwin Friedman's Generation to Generation is a classic work that examines how family systems therapy can be applied to religious systems. Friedman makes the case that religious leaders have a unique vantage point from which to initiate change. Multigenerational forces, involvement with families in rites of passage/"hinges of time", the length of time over which parishioners are a part of religious institutions, and pastors/priests/rabbis being viewed as leaders by the families in their flocks are the factors that provide such entrée into the lives of families and set up the opportunity for bringing about change.
Friedman writes from a specifically Murray Bowen-inspired form of family systems theoretical perspective. Illustrative of this are his explications of Bowenian concepts such as: individuation, differentiation, triangulation, extended family field, homeostatsis, identified patient, genograms, parallel and series interdependency, family projection process, etc. Central to many of these concepts is the notion of lowering anxiety, becoming less emotionally reactive ("non-anxious presence") to symptomatic behavior, and more individuated and less controlled by projective processes/typical roles/"shoulds and musts".
Religious congregations are multi-layered according to Friedman including individuals' families, the congregation as a family, and the leader's family. Since change is isomorphic change in any one of those systems can bring about change in the others. The leader as a self-differentiated person is perhaps Friedman's central concept in this volume. He sees it as pivotal for the leader's emotional well-being and resultant health of the religious body he serves. He offers an extended discussion of the "seven laws of an emotional triangle":
(1) The relationship of any two members of an emotional triangle is kept in balance by the way a third party relates to each of them or to their relationship.
(2) If one is the third party in an emotional triangle it is generally not possible to bring change to the relationship of the other two parts by trying to change their relationship directly.
(3) Attempts to change the relationship of the other two sides of an emotional triangle not only are generally ineffective but also homeostatic forces often convert these efforts to their opposite effect.
(4) To the extent a third party to an emotional triangle tries unsuccessfully to change the relationship of the other two, the more likely it is that the third party will wind up with the stress of the other two.
(5) The various triangles in an emotional system interlock so that efforts to bring changes to any one of them are often resisted by homeostatic forces in the others or in the system itself.
(6) One side of an emotional triangle tends to be more conflictual than the others.
(7) We can only bring change to a relationship to which we belong.
He also discusses churches or synagogues as locations where displaced unresolved family issues get played out. This underscores the need for differentiation to occur to bring about a new homeostatic balance.
This is a seminal work in the integration of family systems theory and pastoral care. Friedman's gift was to be able to communicate in both a provocative and practical way. This book is no exception. For years I have used his Friedman's Fables in therapy sessions. They have opened windows of therapeutic opportunity for me as a therapist. I had never however read this book. I am glad I had the chance to do so. Having worked on pastoral staffs in churches and as a family therapist I found his insights to be profound. I heartily recommend it to therapists and ministers alike.
"
~ Written on 2007-11-06
Edwin Friedman's Generation to Generation is a classic work that examines how family systems therapy can be applied to religious systems. Friedman makes the case that religious leaders have a unique vantage point from which to initiate change. Multigenerational forces, involvement with families in rites of passage/"hinges of time", the length of time over which parishioners are a part of religious institutions, and pastors/priests/rabbis being viewed as leaders by the families in their flocks are the factors that provide such entrée into the lives of families and set up the opportunity for bringing about change.
Friedman writes from a specifically Murray Bowen-inspired form of family systems theoretical perspective. Illustrative of this are his explications of Bowenian concepts such as: individuation, differentiation, triangulation, extended family field, homeostatsis, identified patient, genograms, parallel and series interdependency, family projection process, etc. Central to many of these concepts is the notion of lowering anxiety, becoming less emotionally reactive ("non-anxious presence") to symptomatic behavior, and more individuated and less controlled by projective processes/typical roles/"shoulds and musts".
Religious congregations are multi-layered according to Friedman including individuals' families, the congregation as a family, and the leader's family. Since change is isomorphic change in any one of those systems can bring about change in the others. The leader as a self-differentiated person is perhaps Friedman's central concept in this volume. He sees it as pivotal for the leader's emotional well-being and resultant health of the religious body he serves. He offers an extended discussion of the "seven laws of an emotional triangle":
(1) The relationship of any two members of an emotional triangle is kept in balance by the way a third party relates to each of them or to their relationship.
(2) If one is the third party in an emotional triangle it is generally not possible to bring change to the relationship of the other two parts by trying to change their relationship directly.
(3) Attempts to change the relationship of the other two sides of an emotional triangle not only are generally ineffective but also homeostatic forces often convert these efforts to their opposite effect.
(4) To the extent a third party to an emotional triangle tries unsuccessfully to change the relationship of the other two, the more likely it is that the third party will wind up with the stress of the other two.
(5) The various triangles in an emotional system interlock so that efforts to bring changes to any one of them are often resisted by homeostatic forces in the others or in the system itself.
(6) One side of an emotional triangle tends to be more conflictual than the others.
(7) We can only bring change to a relationship to which we belong.
He also discusses churches or synagogues as locations where displaced unresolved family issues get played out. This underscores the need for differentiation to occur to bring about a new homeostatic balance.
This is a seminal work in the integration of family systems theory and pastoral care. Friedman's gift was to be able to communicate in both a provocative and practical way. This book is no exception. For years I have used his Friedman's Fables in therapy sessions. They have opened windows of therapeutic opportunity for me as a therapist. I had never however read this book. I am glad I had the chance to do so. Having worked on pastoral staffs in churches and as a family therapist I found his insights to be profound. I heartily recommend it to therapists and ministers alike.
"
~ Written on 2007-11-06
"This is a book to be absorbed slowly.
I don't think I can summarize this book any better than Friedman himself does on page 1: "It is the thesis of this book that all clergymen and clergywomen, irrespective of faith, are simultaneously involved in three distinct families whose emotional forces interlock: the families within the congregation, our congregations, and our own. Because the emotional process in all of these systems is identical, unresolved issues in any one of them can produce symptoms in the others, and increased understanding of any one creates more effective functioning in all three."
This book will invite you to take a good, hard look at your own functioning. "There is an intrinsic relationship between our capacity to put families together [or, Friedman would also say, to put congregations together] and our ability to put ourselves together" (page 3). Friedman looks at family issues and congregational issues from a systems perspective, arguing that when a member of a family (or a congregation) is demonstrating "symptoms," it is necessary to look at the whole network of relationships that that individual is involved in -- because the root cause of the problem may lie in a completely different part of the system.
Friedman illustrates in detail how clergy can positively effect change in a family system or a congregational system. He also (somewhat indirectly) stresses the critical importance for clergy to resolve their own lingering family-of-origin issues.
The book is heavy reading -- full of terms that may be unfamiliar (and that, unfortunately, he doesn't directly explain, which can be confusing at first), such as "identified patient" and "self-differentiation" and "detriangulating." Frankly, I think he could have used a good editor, so that the book would be more accessible to people who are new to the concepts of Bowen family systems theory.
But don't miss this book. Read it, slowly. Digest it. Read a few pages at a time, then put it down and process what you have read before trying to proceed further. It took me months to work through the book. But I'm a heck of a lot stronger and wiser than I was when I first started. This book will help you grow.
Then, if you want to keep learning and applying the concepts in this book, read Friedman's unfinished manuscript, A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix (available through the Edwin Friedman Trust), and/or do a Google search on The Center for Family Process in Bethesda, Maryland."
~ Written on 2006-08-13
I don't think I can summarize this book any better than Friedman himself does on page 1: "It is the thesis of this book that all clergymen and clergywomen, irrespective of faith, are simultaneously involved in three distinct families whose emotional forces interlock: the families within the congregation, our congregations, and our own. Because the emotional process in all of these systems is identical, unresolved issues in any one of them can produce symptoms in the others, and increased understanding of any one creates more effective functioning in all three."
This book will invite you to take a good, hard look at your own functioning. "There is an intrinsic relationship between our capacity to put families together [or, Friedman would also say, to put congregations together] and our ability to put ourselves together" (page 3). Friedman looks at family issues and congregational issues from a systems perspective, arguing that when a member of a family (or a congregation) is demonstrating "symptoms," it is necessary to look at the whole network of relationships that that individual is involved in -- because the root cause of the problem may lie in a completely different part of the system.
Friedman illustrates in detail how clergy can positively effect change in a family system or a congregational system. He also (somewhat indirectly) stresses the critical importance for clergy to resolve their own lingering family-of-origin issues.
The book is heavy reading -- full of terms that may be unfamiliar (and that, unfortunately, he doesn't directly explain, which can be confusing at first), such as "identified patient" and "self-differentiation" and "detriangulating." Frankly, I think he could have used a good editor, so that the book would be more accessible to people who are new to the concepts of Bowen family systems theory.
But don't miss this book. Read it, slowly. Digest it. Read a few pages at a time, then put it down and process what you have read before trying to proceed further. It took me months to work through the book. But I'm a heck of a lot stronger and wiser than I was when I first started. This book will help you grow.
Then, if you want to keep learning and applying the concepts in this book, read Friedman's unfinished manuscript, A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix (available through the Edwin Friedman Trust), and/or do a Google search on The Center for Family Process in Bethesda, Maryland."
~ Written on 2006-08-13
"This book has a reputation of revolutionizing the way its readers view congregational life. Based on his experience as a rabbi and marriage and family therapist, the late Ed Friedman gives the most comprehensive and practical understanding of congregations as emotional systems. Conflicts are explained not from a linear standpoint, i.e. "A causes B," but from a systemic perspective where all participants are contributors. Each part of the system is connected to, or has its own effect upon, every other part. This helps to explain why many "issues" that arise within a congregation cannot be settled on the level of content, but must be viewed as representations of how the persons surrounding the issues are participating in the relational system. "Issues" may seem settled, but if the relational system continues to function the same way, the same or other "issues" will reappear later, because they were merely symptomatic of the emotional dynamics among the people involved. This book begins by explaining the major concepts of family systems theory, and applies them to organizational life, leadership, and the leader's family. It is full of examples, which makes these complex ideas easier to grasp. Few books are as insightful and helpful in equipping church leaders to understand congregations. It is the standard in applying family systems theory to congregations."
~ Written on 2002-02-15
~ Written on 2002-02-15