Healing the Shame That Binds You

"I highly recommend this book anyone who has experienced - depression, guilt, grief, abandonment, abuse or addiction. Healing the Shame - points to the build up of - Undeserved Shame as Children - as the main reason for the emotional pain we're haunted by through out our lives - pain we are destined to relive if not faced. While Part One of this book expresses and pin points the Problem, Part Two is devoted to Solutions.

I am not rating this book on miniscule literary flaws, its far to important of a message to care. Bradshaw's collection of different ideas and methods by other authors and thinkers on the issue shows his passionate search to understanding Shame as well as that he takes a realistic stance that there is no pill formed method for how we face and resolve our past. One of my favorite things about the book is that there's an abundance of solutions and methods to facing unresolved shame in Part Two.

I've been searching for over a decade for something like this book - and nothing come as close - this is probably one of the most important books I'll ever read."
~ Written on 2008-08-15

"It's clear from the beginning how much Bradshaw cares about this topic an how profoundly positive his exploration into this area was a great gift to him. It was refreshing to begin reading Bradshaw's take on shame. I began to see familiars in his descriptions right away and was deeply moved by them. They helped my feel not so isolated, among many other emotions and feelings, in my own challenges with shame. I was disappointed though in the sensationalism in some of his claims and his self-promotion for his other material. I also question intensely his claims about the 12 step programs. He states that no one questions the efficacy of these programs, but many do. The blind support of these programs has no basis in research and in many cases there is support to the idea that while the primary behavior may change, i.e. alcohol abuse, the program continues to foster deep internal shame and feelings of inadequacy in facing the deep underpinnings of addiction in many people. In general I think this book can be a useful tool, but must be buttressed by additional reading by essential voices in this field, i.e. Frances Broucek, et. al. So yes, check this book out, but read it with questions while feeling bathed in recognition and validation. Use the tools that are useful for you and let go of what isn't."
~ Written on 2008-04-17

"Bradshaw, J. 1988. Healing the Shame that Binds You. Health Communications, Deerfield Beach, Florida

John Bradshaw's book is full of references to various philosphies and methods of treating psychological problems. He expalins how many of our difficulties relate to how we were made to feel unworthy of love.

I especially enjoyed how he described the work of Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck. Thinking that we should be perfect or that we know what someone is thinking can lead us into depression.

John Bradshaw goes from quoting famous people to mentioning the simple praises that are heard in 12-step meetings. So people who attend 12-step meetings are likely to get a lot from this book.

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~ Written on 2008-04-10

"This book shamelessly regurgitates the ideas of others without documenting the sources with footnotes. Moreover, Bradshaw fundamentally misunderstands and misrepresents seminal ideas drawn from psychoanalytic theory, Gestalt therapy, Transactional analysis, and other schools of thought. The result is confusing and will lead many people down a false path in their attempts to address mental health problems. "
~ Written on 2008-04-05

"I read this book twenty something years ago. I have family problems. Don't we all? My parents let me down in many ways, and so did my siblings.

But this book left me feeling that my problems were someone else's fault. I no longer had to feel responsible for my own thoughts, decisions and actions. Fact is, shame is there for a reason. It makes me aware that I am guilty. I can't do anything about my guilt. Only God can. And he did. He sent his son Jesus to die in my place and take away my guilt. I am forgiven. I am loved by a perfect Father.

I was raised in a Christian home. I knew about God's love in my head. But as a college student I read Bradshaw's book. It was at a time when I was suffering from my parents' bitter divorce. Because I got so caught up into focusing on their sins and blaming them, and rejecting any shame I felt from my own misconduct, I couldn't grow.

So stay away from this book. Or at least if you read it, you will need a good dose of truth to help you deal with the lies in Bradshaw's book. I think he meant well. But he's way off base. The truth will set you free. This stuff will bind you for a long, long, time!

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~ Written on 2008-02-12