Don't Make Me Count to Three: a Mom's Look at Heart-Oriented Discipline

"This book is the best parenting book I've read...it combines the reality of imperfect mothers with the awesome responsibility and priviledge we have to raise our children so that they love and honor God.

Yes, it's directed at Christians, and it hits right where it should: sound biblical direction and applications for everyday problems.

More than anything, it encouraged me to study the wisdom of the bible for myself, so that I can model and pass that on to my son and future children.

This will be my parenting philosophy from now on, and this book will be my handbook, second only to the bible!

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~ Written on 2008-09-10

"This book claims to advocate a heart-oriented philosophy, but in reality, she only promotes the use of violence and physical domination to create obedience. These methods have been proven to be dangerous and harmful, and should not be promoted in any way. "
~ Written on 2008-09-04

"After listening to this woman on christian radio (Wed, Aug 28, 2008, Iowa I-80W around 7-8pm) I have to say I think she is a hypocrite.

When asked about spanking for corporate punishment, she says its needed. This is right after a segment where she talked how demeaning it is to a child when mom grabs a kid in the store somewhat hard, when the kid is acting out.

When the speak goes into violence vs. spanking, she runs out of rational explanation, and starts quoting the bible, how you should "use the rod with love".
...Are you kidding me?!?!? A father that tells his kid that he loves him/her right before he hits them. What kind of love are you teaching me.
I guess this is the heart part of the book's title.

In the country where I grew up, Sweden, this woman would be a criminal for hitting children and she would have to face up to the law.

She then goes on how this physical punishment should be used for small children, children who don't understand and can't reason with you. It works better on small children.

Well yeah, if my dad tried to hit me when I was 14, I'd hit him back. so of course it works better.

If you're co-worker is not behaving correctly, that doesn't give you the right to use physical punishment towards that other adult. That adult is protected by the law.

But the poor two year old, who barely can speak, let alone know what his/her rights are, he should be hit, cause it works better.

Yes it works better, it's what we did to the slaves, when they were out of control. Cause it works better, doesn't mean its right.

Parents shouldn't be buying into this. There is a way to raise your child with love and respect.

She also says that consistency and not using bribery is important. So they ask her what is bribery.
The ask "if you tell your kid to behave well in the store, and then the kid will get ice cream when they get home, is that bribery?"

She says yes, goes on how that is so bad.

Then the interviewer goes on, that when he was a kid, his parents had a coin jar, and when the kids misbehaved, they would take money out of the jar, and there would be less to spend at the family gathering at the end of the week.

This, she said was incentive, not bribery.

I wonder if they bought ice cream with the money from the jar? I'm confused, she offers no consistency and no clear definitions.

This woman clearly knows nothing about parenting, and when she gets trapped, instead of admitting she doesn't know, she turns to blind faith and quotes some scripture.

If we all justified our lives with quotes from the bible, I'm sure we could get away with murder.

This book is not for this generation parents. Parents that embrace love and respect, but the kind of love you have in your heart, and the kind of respect you have in your values, not the kind of love that applies the rod.




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~ Written on 2008-08-30

"This book is great! Some reviews have said that it promotes spanking, but the bottom line is that if you don't spank you are doing your child a disservice and that's exactly what this author is saying in her book. She doesn't say that a parent should be abusive and just spank for no reason or just make up a reason to beat their child. Rather she admonishes parents to teach the child the correct behavior, while also teaching them that with disobedience comes consequences and spanking is a consequence. However, the more training they get by you instructing them on what the correct behavior is, then you won't have to spanking as much.
Only you are responsible for who and what your child will become. And that all comes from how you train them, especially in the Lord's teachings. "
~ Written on 2008-08-21

"I was at my wit's end with my two-and-a-half year old son. This book was so encouraging! (Yes, it is scriptural, and so if you aren't interested in that, you won't like it.) It really changed the way I was dealing with my son, and I feel much better about my discipline now."
~ Written on 2008-08-20