Mending a Shattered Heart
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By: Stephanie Carnes, Robert Weiss, Omar Minwalla, Sonja Rudie, Jennifer Schneider, Cara Tripodi, Mavis Humes Baird, Joe Kort, Barbara Levinson, Patrick Carnes, Paul Hartman and Virginia Hartman
Format: Paperback
From: Gentle Path Press
Pub. Date: January 2008
From: Gentle Path Press
Pub. Date: January 2008
Product Details:
Catalog: Book
Release Date: 2008-02-20
Media: Paperback
Number Of Pages: 184
Ean: 9780977440061
Isbn: 0977440060
Catalog: Book
Release Date: 2008-02-20
Media: Paperback
Number Of Pages: 184
Ean: 9780977440061
Isbn: 0977440060
ABOUT THE BOOK
EDITORIAL REVIEW
Where do I go from here? You are not alone. Thousands of unsuspecting people wake up every day to discover their loved one, the one person that they are supposed to trust completely, has been living a life of lies and deceit because they suffer from a disease - a disease called sex addiction. Stefanie Carnes brings together several authors to guide the reader through an assortment of topics like, How Do I Handle This? and, What Do I Tell the Kids?
USER REVIEWS
"What an amazing, helpful, honest and insightful book for a partner, spouse, or significant other of a sex addict.
YES there is HOPE for you! Helpful insight, ideas, theory, and from a personal point of view. It gave me such hope, and I have been using many of the tools and ideas in my life, in my heart and mind to heal myself! My husband and I have both benefitted from it."
~ Written on 2008-07-28
YES there is HOPE for you! Helpful insight, ideas, theory, and from a personal point of view. It gave me such hope, and I have been using many of the tools and ideas in my life, in my heart and mind to heal myself! My husband and I have both benefitted from it."
~ Written on 2008-07-28
"This book has some good info for spouses/partners of sex addicts. It has essays by a number of people, that many may find useful.
I did have a couple of problems with it, however.
In the first place, it assumed that all spouses/partners are co-addicts, somehow taking some of the blame on themselves, being enablers, etc.
However, not everyone thinks they are somehow responsible for anyone else's behavior but their own. Not everyone thinks that "if only I'd done this, things would be different." And not everyone makes excuses and covers up for inappropriate behavior, even though the cost to themselves might be great. On the other hand, since so many people *do* fit in at least one of these categories, it could be useful to see yourself through different eyes.
The other problem I had, which I have with all of the Carnes School approach, is their great dependence on the 12 Steps.
This book mentions agnostics/atheists in only a sentence or two and says nothing useful or of substance. If you and/or your loved one addict are not people of faith in a "higher power" you may find yourself annoyed, or even repelled, by almost half of the 12 Steps."
~ Written on 2008-05-14
I did have a couple of problems with it, however.
In the first place, it assumed that all spouses/partners are co-addicts, somehow taking some of the blame on themselves, being enablers, etc.
However, not everyone thinks they are somehow responsible for anyone else's behavior but their own. Not everyone thinks that "if only I'd done this, things would be different." And not everyone makes excuses and covers up for inappropriate behavior, even though the cost to themselves might be great. On the other hand, since so many people *do* fit in at least one of these categories, it could be useful to see yourself through different eyes.
The other problem I had, which I have with all of the Carnes School approach, is their great dependence on the 12 Steps.
This book mentions agnostics/atheists in only a sentence or two and says nothing useful or of substance. If you and/or your loved one addict are not people of faith in a "higher power" you may find yourself annoyed, or even repelled, by almost half of the 12 Steps."
~ Written on 2008-05-14
"When a couple enters therapy and one partner exhibits sexually addictive behaviors, the non-addicted partner (co-addict) often asks me to "Fix my partner!"
With all couples, however, I emphasize shared responsibility. When one partner has an addiction, they are an addicted couple. When the woman is pregnant, they are pregnant. When one has an affair, both share the burden of how to resolve it.
I had the privilege of writing a chapter for this book called, "Straight Guise: Is My Partner Gay?" I hope my chapter will illustrated for couples that just because a male partner engages in sexual acts with another man does not mean he is gay nor bisexual. It also does not mean that the marriage has to be over even if he is, in fact, gay. This chapter outlines all things to consider before rushing into doing anything.
More on my work with straight men who have sex with men at www.straightguise.com
I hope this book does what it is intended to do and that is help the coaddict and the couple.
"
~ Written on 2008-03-10
With all couples, however, I emphasize shared responsibility. When one partner has an addiction, they are an addicted couple. When the woman is pregnant, they are pregnant. When one has an affair, both share the burden of how to resolve it.
I had the privilege of writing a chapter for this book called, "Straight Guise: Is My Partner Gay?" I hope my chapter will illustrated for couples that just because a male partner engages in sexual acts with another man does not mean he is gay nor bisexual. It also does not mean that the marriage has to be over even if he is, in fact, gay. This chapter outlines all things to consider before rushing into doing anything.
More on my work with straight men who have sex with men at www.straightguise.com
I hope this book does what it is intended to do and that is help the coaddict and the couple.
"
~ Written on 2008-03-10