Stumbling on Happiness

"Gilbert notes that the frontal lobe evolved in order to control the environment in our quest for safety and pleasure (avoid/approach reactions). It does so largely by trying to predict the future. Unfortunately, we often stumble because our predictions are so often based on poor information gleaned from our past and present experiences through the filter of our inaccurate memories. In other words, we tend to repeat false assumptions and often poor decisions when predicting our futures so that when we do actually find happiness, it is often stumbled upon rather than planned.

As Gilbert says, "In order to have a smooth rational-seeming reality, we fill in what we don't know with details that are often wrong and leaving out details that are actually important if we realize them. And we do this seamlessly and largely unconsciously." "We tend to accept the brain's products uncritically and expect the future to unfold with the details- and only with the details- that the brain has imagined" He further states, "What we feel as we imagine the future is often a response to what's happening in the present and we predictably underestimate how different we will feel in the future."

Inaccurate predictions begets poor decision-making which often leads to an unhappy state. We then tend to rationalize our unhappy outcomes to make them more acceptable to ourselves which means we are likely to make the same choices in the future.


Any resultant feelings of inadequacy and lower self-worth can lead to even further repetition of poor choices. When in the discontented state, the mind seeks more stability and control. But what does it do? It rationalizes and continues to base its predictions on information from an often inaccurate and unstable past and present and fails to learn from experience.

For example, if you feel inadequate and odd in the sense you don't feel you fit in, you may seek out and depend on others that you see as being similarly inadequate or odd- the very people, if you do depend on them, that are most apt to reinforce your feelings of inadequacy rather than help give you the stability and centeredness that you seek.

Thus, the vicious circle continues as one clings to ones old ways...

So, in the search for stability one may cling to the tottering present in order to seek peace and happiness, but the result is most often a repetition of the past. The myth of Sisyphis comes to mind as one pictures the endless attempts to perform an impossible task such as rolling a boulder part way up a hill that is too heavy to reach the top and doing it over and over again...

But is it impossible to overcome the tendency to embrace failed thoughts and actions so that at least we stumble less and are happier with our lives?

Of course and careful observation of others who have found happiness is one recommendation.

."
~ Written on 2008-10-03

"This book is fabulous. As much as the content informs on the human condition, the frolicking experience of reading it reinforces it. Makes me glad to be human. Highly recommended!
- kara"
~ Written on 2008-09-23

"I bought this book because I wanted to know how I could become happy. However, this book turned out to be a long list of psychological experiments that proved how badly human imagination and memories are flawed and follible. Yet the author concludes that nothing is better than our imagination and memories to depend on to predict our future happiness. "
~ Written on 2008-09-07

"Daniel Gilbert takes us through the elusive study of happiness in three phases.

1) He convinces the reader how nearly impossible it is to measure happiness, along with all the falicies of attempts to measure it. He concludes "The best you can do is ask someone how they're feeling at any given moment"

2) He shows many problems with individuals predicting happiness. We tend to overestimate how much we enjoy things, and how long the happiness lasts, as well as overestimating pain from negative occurances. He shows why this happens (one reason is too much focus on recent events) as well as how our memory fails us similar to imagination.

3) He closes with a tentative recommendation on what to do - in general it is not good to ask for advice, but it is relatively reliable to ask people how they are feeling at any given point in time.

The subject is soft and squishy, but Daniel Ong manages to create a book that is readable, enjoyable, and even useful. Well done, and well worth the time!"
~ Written on 2008-09-03

"Excellent book!good quality!absolutely no difference with a new one.shipped on time to my house.its just so wonderful"
~ Written on 2008-08-29