Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem

"This work provides practical strategies on how to
identify both constructive and non-constructive
criticisms . People need motivation.
As such, considerable things are achieved
when we have the requisite drive.

The critic tends to serve
our guilt with a heaping of criticism. The authors
provide strategies to anticipate the criticism and
deal with it constructively. According to the authors,
we should seek to unmask the criticism to divine its
purpose. In some ways, critics serve us by solving
the fear of failure. Some say that you cannot do
things. Occasionally, they are proven wrong.

Monitoring the critic will help us sort out the
non-constructive criticism from criticism that
helps to make us better people in every aspect.
According to the author, we should look at the rule
structures which are at the heart of our
critics. Are the rules relevant, fair or topical ?
If they aren't, we have a basis to view the
criticism with skepticism.

The authors also remind us to view ourselves
dispassionately. Try to determine how others see you.
Sometimes, your physical appearance or demeanor are
important. How do you relate to other people?

To get answers to these questions, we must learn to
listen in order to receive quality input. The authors
provide a wealth of very pertinent information helpful
in strengthening every aspect of inter-personnel
relations with a plethora of people around us.
i.e. mentors, peers, friends, relevant others etc.

The book is worth the purchase price for the
significant value of the information contained within.

"
~ Written on 2008-05-21

"This is one of the few books on self esteem that covers the inner critic and the outer critic. If all you ever do is reduce the criticism in your life, your self esteem will improve.

As an added bonus, the book also covers risk assessment, and how to identify blockages that prevent you from fully analyzing the risk of any given choice or situation. This is almost more important than self esteem, as the right choices will always lead you to prosperity, and the wrong choices will always lead you to lack. The ability to clearly see the risk associated with any given choice is immense."
~ Written on 2008-04-02

"This book makes sense. It's a must read for everyone, those with and without self esteem issues. You will learn so much about yourself and how your mind works. It really did answer alot of questions for me. "
~ Written on 2008-03-15

"I bought this book about 15 years ago and have read it over and over. It truly did change my life. I kept it by my bed and read a little at a time until it seeped in, I put the teachings into practice little by little and felt better and better. If self esteem is an issue for you, this is the book to read, it explains the subject so well, then gives you practical ways to get there. The authors are experts."
~ Written on 2008-03-14

"I cannot speak highly enough of this book. I found it to be absolutely invaluable in developing better self esteem. You do need to actually sit down with a pen and paper and do the exercises it suggests, but I found this process really helped me to understand myself and my thinking patterns better.

For me, what really opened my eyes was the way the authors explained how the inner critic is reinforced. I feel that this is crucial information which is missing from many other books on self esteem. The authors explain a number of different ways in which we reinforce our inner critic and more importantly, they explain why we continue to use these self-limiting behaviours and provide alternatives. A simple example of this is that your inner critic drives you to achieve goals. You may tell yourself that you will be stupid or worthless if you don't achieve a high exam mark, or a good performance review at work. The critic is reinforced because this fear and criticism motivates you to achieve - yet it also sacrifices your self esteem. A healthier alternative is to rebut the inner critic and practice visualization techniques to motive you to achieve success.

The chapters on Compassion and Handling Mistakes also really helped to alter my way of thinking. I, like many other people, had a tendency to continually beat myself up over past mistakes. The book helped me to reframe the way I think about mistakes. More importantly, it helped me to understand the limits of my awareness, at the time of the mistake we are usually attempting to get our needs met in what we deem to be the most effective way. The chapter on Compassion also provided a really simple and powerful exercise which helped me to move past mistakes made by myself and other people.

Another reason I highly recommend this book is the chapter on Core Beliefs. We are usually completely unaware of our negative core beliefs and therefore they continue to have a very profound negative effect on our self-esteem at a deep level. Identifying and testing my core beliefs has been an eye-opening and empowering experience. It does take time as there are no quick-fixes, but the process of building more positive core beliefs has fundamentally changed the way I view myself and the world around me.

Other parts of this book which I found to be helpful were the sections on responding to criticism, healthy and unhealthy values, asking for what you want and the accurate self assessments.

In summary, this book has been instrumental in building my self-esteem. It is written in an easy to understand and relatively entertaining manner. There are plenty of practical exercises to help you apply the information that is given. I strongly recommend it."
~ Written on 2008-02-07