Infertility Survival Handbook

"Imagine having a conversation with an informed and smart support group member with stage IV endo who has been through numerous IUIs, three laparoscopies, and five IVF cycles. Elizabeth Swire Falker knows what it's like to deal with infertility. The Infertility Survival Handbook Everything You Never Thought You'd Need to Know is written from the patient's perspective, and it's written well, which makes it an easy and fast read. Despite its name, this book is more moral support than a comprehensive reference on infertility or endometriosis. It's a one-person support group that can be immensely emotionally helpful for someone undergoing infertility treatment; I found the book useful, comforting, and uplifting.

There is a chapter devoted to endo. The author recognizes a genetic component to endometriosis and notes that a few women in her family also had endo, but the chapter itself is short. In other parts of the book, the author talks about her experiences with surgeries for endometriosis and mentions that changes in diet have helped her. But, there is no material on how to increase your chances for a successful surgery by choosing an experienced endo surgeon nor there is any mention of the Endometriosis Association. There is, however, a very good chapter about how to find a good Reproductive Endocrinologist or infertility clinic.

So, my main and probably only major complaint is that it is not as a comprehensive reference on infertility as I had expected from a book containing the word "everything" in its title. When I experienced complications with IVF, and while on Lupron, developed a cyst that later burst, I found the book lacking. There was nothing on that subject and what the options might be. Should I wait for it to go away on its own as my doctor had suggested or take the medicine to force the cyst to burst as the doctor covering for my regular one this morning suggested I do? The book held no information to help me make a more educated choice. Alternative protocols, such as Ganirelix protocol instead of Lupron, are neither mentioned nor discussed. Yes, while most of the fertility treatments are the "one-size-fits-every-diagnosis", there are options. Discussing complications and including these options instead of injection steps would enhance the book's value at the era of Google and even YouTube videos, which are there in an unlikely event your doctor didn't provide printed injections directions or a DVD or a class.

One of the last sections on what to make of the pregnancy test and how to deal with either successful or unsuccessful IVF cycle is very helpful and has excellent advice. While the book is definitely not everything you'd need to know about infertility, it is worthy of a purchase and is arguably one of the top books on infertility out there. I referred to it over and over again when I was going through my first IVF cycle, but I wish I had the book before I started any treatment at all. Overall, I would give the book four out five stars and recommend it without hesitation.
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~ Written on 2008-11-30

"If you are at all a Christian, you will not like this book. The first chapter suggests getting pornography to keep your physical relationship going with your partner. Later in the book, the author suggests lying to those around you, saying that the "Truth God" doesn't want to go to baby showers either. Also, it talks about stabbing people with needles who make insensitive remarks. This book focuses almost entirely on IUI and IVF, and if you are not willing or able to go those routes, it has very little for you.

Overall, I thought the book had a desperate, snide attitude - unless you are obsessed with carrying a child and willing to go to any lengths to get there, you will get very little from this book. There is some good basic medical information - other than that, it was almost useless. I'm glad I didn't waste my money and buy it at full price. If you are like me and would LIKE to get pregnant but your whole life doesn't depend on it, and you can still look at a pregnant women without feeling sad, you won't find this book appealing - much of it is spent talking about how the author couldn't even look at a pregnant women or go to a baby shower - not everyone is like that.

Also, some of the advice is impractical - like telling your boss you will be late on the days of treatment or bloodwork - if you are a teacher (or countless other jobs) like me, you can't just show up late on a whim. And the financial information is misleading - the author uses her own insurance coverage as an example, but my insurance covers nothing, so it is WAY more expensive than she says.

I can't say enough bad about this book - don't buy it! If I could give zero stars I would!!"
~ Written on 2008-07-14

"Goodness, I wish I had read all of the reviews before purchasing this book. When my husband and I found out that we had a few infertility issues to address we promised ourselves to try and stay positive and not to become obessed with having a biological child. The experiences Ms. Swire-Falker had to endure were incredibly unfortunate, but I found myself thinking...stop the procedures and get on with your life. She seemed obsessed with having a baby and I simply didn't relate. My husband and I love children and want to have a family, but not at the cost of my career, our marriage, or financial security. There was some useful information, so I did find the book helpful on some fronts. "
~ Written on 2007-08-10

"I just started my first IVF cycle. My best friend who also went through IVF bought this book for me. She read it and thought it would help me. It really has!
I read it in three days. I laughed, cryed and was uplifted. Elizabeth's story is compelling, heartfelt, but most of all imformative. Believe it or not it was even comforting to know we aren't alone in this world of infertility. If you are having trouble starting a family and would like to explore all of your options, I urge you to read this book. It is brilliantly written. "
~ Written on 2007-07-28

"While the writing is accessible and conversational, I found this book to be heavily biased towards IVF (at one point stating "In vitro fertilization is truly amazing and miraculous."). Falker provides a wealth of information for women considering IVF, but in her descriptions of alternative treatments, she inevitably makes a statement along the lines of "but IVF is better." I know she wishes she had tried IVF sooner, but for some people IVF just isn't an option. In order to truly be an "infertility survival guide" the book needs to have some focus on the positives of other fertility treatments/options. It really should be called the IVF survival handbook.

Her personal experiences made for a nice touch, but I found a lot of it too negative. I really don't want infertility to become the sole focus of my life, so I found how all-consuming her process became very, VERY scary. She does offer some helpful hints on how to tell people that you are struggling with fertility and how to deal with the many off-hand comments that people make about having children & dealing wtih fertility issues (although a lot of her focus is on how insensitive people are, so again... venturing to the negative). Personally, I found the book to be negatively focused and a little disheartening. "
~ Written on 2007-06-24